My New Year Thoughts

Goodbye 2011 – you have surprised me for whole year now, it’s been good, bad, though, happy, easy, laid back, lots of experiences, colleagues, flirts and all the other stuff! Thank you and goodbye.

Today is the second last day of the year. Tomorrow the last day of the year is always a strange day even though it’s really not. It’s just a day, like all the others, Saturday like every other Saturdays.  I won’t go out partying. I’m gonna have a very relaxed new year with my parents. Main course and dessert after my choice (You have to have benefits when you leave home.) We’re just going to relax, see Queen Margrethe’s annual speech like we do every year. Then eat a nice dinner, watch TV, talk, the usual phone calls, drink and singing into the new year at midnight. Then relax a little more and go to bed. I don’t know if we are going to have fireworks this year. I’m really not up for it. I like the arts, colors and lights in the air, but all the loud noises is really not my cup of tea. We’ll see wether or not my dad is buying a battery or some party poppers. A very relaxed evening – they way I like it this year.

Last couple of days I haven’t had that much energy. Though I have spending  all my time translating all my blog posts into Danish, and the Danish posts into English. And then they have been uploaded on my personal website – which is now open again. Still have a lot of work in front of me, but It’ll come when I got the time and the idea on what to do… Think I’m going to write down something about me being an au pair. And then refer it to the blog here or at the website. The Front page really isn’t awesome either. I have concentrating so much on getting the translations right in both the Danish part of the site and the English part of the site.. We’ll see what is going to happen…

I got some really nice Christmas presents. I got Dollars so I have something to start with. It really looks like monopoly money, and I can’t get over that you have $1 in a note! Seriously?!  Well I just need get used to it I guess…

I also got a really nice book, from Linea. I really wanted to go see Niceville in the cinema. And Linea didn’t wanna come. So know I got the book instead and I will enjoy it on my flight.

Then if anyone remembers, in one of my earlier posts I mentioned that my all time favorite animal was a hippo. I have been looking after a keychain-figure looking like a hippo for years now. You can get all the animal, exept a hippo. So my parents bought me a necklace with a hippo charm in it. I never take this one off, only if I need to wear jewelry or if I go shower (even though I often forgets to take it off)  

So for Christmas I got a new friend, Felix the Hippo. Very soft and very cute – and he will remind me of my parents, while I’m away.

Going away means packing. And I’m now a week behind schedule. I don’t feel like packing, I think it’s crap (sorry  my language!) But it really is! I really want to go, but packing down my room feels SO wrong. And the pictures in my head of my room filled with boxes ain’t helping. My dad bought some boxes yesterday so I can get started. At least I have one box filled with books.

I also need to pack my suitcase, that’s a challenge and I really need to get started on that one too. It just makes it all so real, packing down means – You are ´going Mouse, you’re on your way.

But I like the fact that I’m leaving in January. A new year – a new start. I really look forward joining the family. We will probably have our ups and downs – but which families don’t have that? We will figure out along the way.

Happy New Year to everyone, I hope you will have a great 2012 with a lot of love, hope, experiences and new memories. I’m sure will!

Mouse

You'll just get a song instead

I have so many thoughts in my head. I want to write them down. But each time a sit in front of the screen my mind just go blank. Then I heard Leona Lewis’ song: happy. And it fits so well. Why do I do this, because I want to do something for myself, be happy and get to experience the world. Though it’s scary to throw myself out in something unknown then it’s worth it.

Someone once told me

That you have to choose

What you win or lose

You can’t have everything

Don’t you take chances

You might feel the pain

Don’t you love in vain

Cause love wont set you free

I could stand by the side

And watch this life pass me by

So unhappy but safe as could be

So what if it hurts me

So what if I break down

So what if this world just throws me off the edge

My feet run out of ground

I gotta find my place

I wanna hear my sound

Don’t care about other pain in front of me

Cause I’m just tryna be happy, yeah

Just wanna be happy, yeah

Holding on tightly

Just can’t let it go

Just tryna play my roll

Slowly disappear, oooh

Well all these tears

They feel like they’re the same

Just different faces, different names

Get me outta here

Well I can stand by the side

And watch this life pass me by

Pass me by

So what if it hurts me

So what if i break down

So what if this world just throws me off the edge

My feet run out of ground

I gotta find my place

I wanna hear my sound

Don’t care about other pain in front of me

Cause I’m just tryna be happy

Just wanna be happy

Oooh…

So any turns that i cant see

I'll count a stranger on this road

But don’t say victim

Don’t say anything

So what if it hurts me

So what if i break down

So what if this world just throws me off the edge

My feet run out of ground

I gotta find my place

I wanna hear my sound

Don’t care about all the pain in front of me

Cause I’m just try to be happy

Just wanna be happy

Time fly by

I was meant to blog after I got my visa. But time just fly by now. I can’t believe that in 2½ week, I will be in NYC. I’m almost there now.

Well, I got my visa and I got my papers. Everything is practical in order.

I’m ready for Christmas. I’m ready to start packing. My host family has left their former house and town in WA. On their way to celebrate Christmas and then next week going to the temp. housing in Boulder. Where they and I will stay until they find a house they want to call their home.

I have been asked how I can live with, not moving into the place I will stay until my year is over.  ½ year ago I wouldn’t be able to live with it. But my mind have changed the way I see things. Instead of seeing obstacles all the time, I have started to see opportunities. I don’t think it’s that bad, to move location. They will start “over” and I will start “over” together. The town will be new to them, as well as it will be new to me. Yes I understand people who say but you will have to move in the middle of it. Yes, but at least I will move in the same town, maybe just a few blocks – who knows.

I have never tried to move. I have lived 20½ year in the same area, in the same town, street and house. So it will be a new experience for me, along with everything else.

So instead of saying; “Defiantly not!” I just say “Why not?!” I really don’t think it will kill me and maybe it will be fun. My host parents will have time to find a house without stressing, I will have the children and things will go smoothly. When they find a house, we’ll move.

I have no idea if this makes sense. To sum up, I take the moving part with me as an extra experience. It’ll be fun – no worries.

I have this weird feeling inside of me right now. I’m gonna do this. It’s actually happening. And I have so much to pack down. I’ve made a deal with my parents. I’m gonna pack down all of my stuff before leaving. I will probably go find my own place when I get back, start studying  and there is no need to leave all of my stuff on the shelves in Denmark. So Along with finding and discussing with myself what to bring I also have to pack everything down in boxes, So I don’t have to do that when I get back.

I look forward to the year to come. I’m gonna say “see ya” to a lot of people I care about tomorrow. People I won’t see in a long time. It makes me kind of sad. There is a very good reason that I’m not throwing a goodbye-party – I hate goodbyes. It’s not goodbye, it’s see ya – I will be back! So it really starts tomorrow. I don’t like the idea, but it’s part of the game.

If I don’t get to blog next couple of days then: Merry Christmas!

Message for Trine, one of my readers

To Trine
I don't use my g-mail which I need to run my blog. So I didn't see that you made comments with questions. I have answered both posts from dec. 9. I will make sure to check my g-mail ofter so I get my notifications about new comments :)

over and out

Visa, Embassy and more papers

Went to the Embassy today. I started to line up in the pouring rain for 20 minutes – One bright sight is that there was a very-nice looking security guard. “If I only had his number” ;)

Well it was finally my turn, went in handed over my cell-phone and iPod. Went through the metal detector, while my bag where screened. Went in took a number and waited and waited and waited. Until my number was called, I handed over my documents and passport and sat down again. She wrote down the time 10.17 on the paper. Then a few minutes after waiting.  My name was called and I went up to another desk where I was asked a few questions, basically why do you want to go to and what I will do there. Then I had to explain that I wasn’t going to Redmond, WA like the address on the paper said but to an unknown address in Boulder, CO - because my host family would move location. In the end I got a folder about my rights in the states and she said “well have a nice trip” – end of discussion.

To sum up – I think I will get my visa. I sure hope so; since they kept my passport :) they normally say 2-3 days.

Then I went to MyEducation to get some papers, flight plan/ticket, shuttle ticket, health insurance card, au pair folio and some baggage tags. I should have meet a Danish girl called Mette, who will attend the same workshop as I. Though we won’t be traveling together since we depart from 2 different airports. She had a later appointment at the embassy, so I went home and texted her that she could contact me if she wanted to meet and that she could find me on facebook.

So I think I’m good right now, have a lot of things to read, skimmed it earlier – again a lot of information which I already know. Think I’m going to read it in small doses, so I won’t fall asleep. Hope my visa will get here in a few days.

update again

Well Blogging seems a bit hard – many things happen in short time. Where to begin? I’ll try to keep it shorter this same :)

I now “know” 3 girls who will attend the same workshop as I. Funny part is that they are all German - One Dane among 3 Germans. Especially since I have had 3 years of German and I still don’t understand a word. I recognize words, but don’t understand what they mean. Let’s hope they try to keep it in as much English as possible, at least when other people are around :)

I have got a new flight plan. I actually think this plan is much better than the other even though I have to get up earlier. I now fly Copenhagen – Brussels – Newark. My flight takes off from CPH at 6.35am- Which mean I have to be at the airport at 5am. But it means that I will arrive at 12.05pm in Newark which is perfect. The even better part of the new plan is my “in-country” flight. Instead of changing flights in the middle I can just meet up in JFK – place myself in the plane and waiting for it to land in Denver. Though it’s a little late. I will land in Denver at 8.48pm which is a bit unusual since most au pairs are planned to arrive around 6pm. I really don’t know why it has to be at that time, maybe because they want or desire that the au pairs is having a family meal together the first night.

For me it makes no different whether or not It’s 6pm or 9pm I will probably be exhausted no matter what. Most au pair-bodies who come from Europe will have a hard time adjusting. We fly back in time + we will have to meet to class around 8am and we won’t get off before 8-9-10pm At least that’s what we are told. Let’s see whether or not they will stick to that time frame.

So I think I will be exhausted no matter what time I arrive in Denver. So many new impressions, probably lack of sleep, workshop, time differences, another flight, another new airport, new culture, new family. It’s probably very normal to feel exhausted the first night and weekend.  

Friday (last week) I got my visa-document by mail. Wow that was a lot of reading. First I freaked about the picture.  I wanted the picture to be taken by a professional, so I didn’t make any mistakes. But no one takes that size of pictures, since it’s not a standard size. Well after freaking out, e-mailing the Danish office, panicking on facebook. Get calmed down by both agency, host mom and friend then I decided to make my own private alternative/creative photo place. I tried to take it myself, which wasn’t much of a success. So I had to wait for my mom to get home from work – so she could take my picture. We ended up with an okay result. And I just hope it’s accepted at the Embassy.

Then I filled out an online form to apply for visa, I went well most of the way at least. I was asked if Iintended to study while I was in the States. I said off course yes – since I need the 6 ects. Points. Then It wanted me to tell which school I will attend, which Course and which major or BA I was taken. And I was like, I really don’t know which course I want to attend or where. I have had listed 3 different places. But Haven’t gotten to the point to chose which one or what to study. I had to write something, since it wouldn’t allow me to leave it blank. So I was assuming that I will attend University of Colorado Boulder, for course of study: Not known.

Street address: Not known, Boulder, Colorado 80309. And for those who’s asking how hard can it be to find the street address. Ehm that can be quit hard since the addresses chances from department to department. And since I don’t know which course to attend, then I don’t know the department either. I tried to find the head address – without any luck.

But it just have to be like that – I can’t do better right now.

Today I paid my fee for the embassy and bought the envelope and the right amount to send it. I have gathered all my papers, only things missing is my graduation papers and criminal record – in case they doubt me.

Tomorrow I’ll stop by the Danish Agency so they can double check my papers and see whether or not I made a mistake in my online application (which I have printed out, so the agency could see for themselves) Some would might say: You have probably done it correct. But probably is not good for me in this case. This is my visa – the one thing that I HAVE to have sorted out correctly. If I show up on the embassy and something is wrong (or very wrong – don’t know how strict they are. But rumors say they are VERY strict)  Then it will cost me another 800 Dkr. ($142) to get to another interview when I have sorted the mistake out at home.  And yes an interview/visa costs 800 Dkr. ($142) So I really need it to be correct in the first shot.

So now I just need my visa and flight tickets. Then there’s only waiting time and packing down my room left. 28 (almost 27) days to go. 

Flight info, networking, researching and selling out!

Got my flight info.

 I’m going Copenhagen – London/Heathrow – New York (EWR) on January 9^th.

Luckily I don’t have to get up at 3am like last time. I will have to be at the airport around 6am. Which is actually okay. Right now I’m in contact with the Danish agency. I can’t find my flight at the time they say I should take off from Heathrow. They (Agency) say it’s 10.25 – but when I check the date and the flight number on Heathrow’s website then they say 11.25. Then I told the agency that – but they keep saying 10.25. I don’t know if the website is giving me the time from the Danish time zone. But that would be very unusual. Basically ALL companies give you the times in local times, so no one misunderstand.

The agency will contact me again when they have had confirmed my flight tickets. I rather fly 10.25 – otherwise I just need even longer! And I don’t like to wait :/ Time will show – as long as I get there! :)

CPH – LHR :: 2 hours flight

LFR – EWR :: 8 hours flight

After the workshop on January 13. I will go to New York (LGA) to get my flight to Cleveland, where I have only 40 minutes before I need to get my final flight heading for Denver!

LGA – Cleveland :: 1 hour 49 min. flight

Cleveland – Denver :: 3 hour 27 min flight

I really hope my earplugs works! Otherwise I will be in pain… I have this with my ears when flying. My head can’t equalize the air pressure. Like my head can’t cope with the fast changing. Many other people are chewing gum, yawn or hold their fingers on the nose and “pushes” the pressure out. I’m not able to do that. So the pressure inside my head is way too high or way to low and that is really, really painful! If I just move the tiniest slight the pressure will change and I will cry in pain.

Know I have tried these plugs I have to put in at least 30 minutes before I enter my flight. And they seem to work – when they are not falling out (which have been my own fault). I feel the pressure like everyone else but it’s not painful any longer. So I think I’m gonna buy a new set to bring, since I have used these many times now. Some would might say “Have you seen a doctor?” the answer – Yes of course have. But they say nothing is wrong. And like tell them, something must be wrong! It’s painful, I’m crying and screaming – that’s not normal! And no I’m not afraid to fly!

But at least I have found a way to deal with my “problem”  :)

Networking, networking, networking.

It’s told to be one of the most important factors to get a successful year.  I – like many other people use facebook. I have found Euraupairs page on facebook and have now found two girls. One girl is arriving and attending the same workshop as I in January – she’s going to live in New Jersey.

I also tried to find girls from the area I would be in. I have found a girl who lives in Denver and she have told me that there are 9 firls from Euraupair and many other girls from different agencies.

Then I tried to figure out who my CC will be, when I live in Boulder. And it shows that Boulder don’t belong to the Denver area, So I probably don’t get the CC the girls from Denver has.

Euraupair was very kind and have told me that The area coordinator will contact me, within a few days to tell me. Normally you would know who your CC will be when you get the placement papers. But right now my host family has address in Seattle and not in Boulder since they haven’t moved yet. But it’s so nice that they will contact me and tell me, even though they don’t have the new address yet.

Maybe I’m a bit too pushy? I don’t think so. “If you don’t ask you don’t get any answers.”  I’m a person who likes to know what’s going on, and what is going to happen, who will I need to go to, and who will be in my cluster. I like networking!

I think it’s great to start friendships before even going there. Then You have a familiar face, and someone who says “hey lets meet when you get here” The girl from Denver have told me to write when I arrive. So if she goes to Boulder or I go to Denver then we can just write each other and ask if we could meet. That’s great! And that is also what’s the au pair life is about. New friends, new adventures and exploring other cultures - whether it’s your own, the American or a third culture.

With networking comes Researching!

Yes I said researching! Find out as much as you can before going. I have started with Boulder and Denver - regular facts and what to do. I have found places I want to go myself, places where I can take the kids, places where I can go with the family (if they are up for the things I have found of course), things I can’t wait to see (like festivals, parades, venues etc.)

I found some pages about Boulder and I’m totally in love with the city already. This was only confirmed by one of my friends who have been to Boulder twice. He was like “it’s SO awesome! And then there is this sportsbar/restaurant who have the greatest nachos, you have to try them!” And of course he doesn’t remember the name. So I will search for nachos in a sports bar. Thank you Mathias, good advice ;)

Always find different info about where you live – it might make it easier when you recognize shops and street-names from pictures and maps. Maybe it will make me feel more “home” when I recognize these kinds of things.

Selling out!

Yes, I have found that 23 kg isn’t much for a whole year! Many advices from host moms, former au pairs, CC’s and so on say “Bring half of what you think you need and a handful of money!”

The chance that I find some awesome clothes in States is way too big. And then when I get home I have too much clothes. So things I never wear, things I can’t fit any longer, have worn or don’t like is for sale. Second-hand-purchases are very popular here in Denmark and instead of just toss it, then I’m able to earn a little money and someone else will get the joy of my stuff.

And all of this got longer than I thought. One last info: my visa forms will arrive within 1-2 days – then I just need to get an appointment at the embassy, I just need those documents so I can book a meeting. So long :)

Update

Well, Christmas have hit the nation. And Christmas lunches, gatherings and dinners have started. My Brother turned 24 yesterday. So he invited family and friends to our house to celebrate. It was a great evening with cake, buns and coffee. Nice to see so many happy people!

Today my family hosts a cousin/family gathering, with all the cousins from my grandpa’s (dad’s side) side of the family. We will start to make Christmas decorations, Christmas cards and all that kind of things, while having a cozy time, talking laughing and just feel the Christmas spirit. Then we will eat together and what happens afterwards is never known. And that’s probably also the best! ;)

Though I am a little sad. Many aren’t able to show up even though they have known the date for a year. And they started with, “yes I’m defiantly going to be there” Reason is that all these Christmas gatherings also is going to involve goodbyes. Many of the people who attend these things are people I only see few times a year – if I’m lucky. So I don’t get to see these people again before I leave for the States. Now there are people I won’t have the chance to say goodbye to. And I really looked forward seeing all these people.

I love the gathering, it’s a few times a year we are able to catch up. We live in different places, have different lives – so I love to get together. But next year I’m not around, but I really appreciate e-mailing and facebook! I won’t get all lost, but Facebook is not the same as catching up in real life. That’s one of the downsides. Part of the game and experience. But I’ll get new friends and an extra family so I have no complaints.

Well something totally different. My Placement papers got here Tuesday. It’s always nerveracking to wait for the mail to arrive. But it got here! And it’s official, I’m leaving Copenhagen, Monday – January 9^th. I haven’t got my flightplan yet. But it won’t be long before I get that one.

The funny thing about these placement papers is that it’s kind of divided into two places. My family is moving from one state to another. Right now they live in Redmond – Washington and will move to Boulder – Colorado. So half of the information: addresss, phonenumbers,  CC’s etc. is connected to Washington. Rest of it: places to study and facts about the new city is connected to Colorado.

So I have no clue who my CC will be. But I’ll find out on the way. I could imagine that it depends on where we will live in Boulder.

But it’s just a fun thing to read, half of the information is useless  for me.

In the moment I have a lot of dreams while sleeping. It’s like: worst-case scenario playing. No one likes me, the family is angry, we can’t find solutions, I don’t get trough immigration, I won’t catch my plane. Everything goes wrong in general. I really hope it’s only in my dreams, those scenarios will happen!!!

I have started doing homemade Christmas cards and small gifts in cardboard. Really makes me relax.

Well, in three hours, guests will arrive. Another storm is hitting Denmark. Our roof haven’t been made yet. So I really hope damage will stay at a minimum!

Countdown, papers, plan, baby signing :)

Well, a storm hit Denmark yesterday. The wind was fierce with gusts of hurricane strength. But as far as I know nothing have been broken, not even the Christmas lights! But since I live in the gable end of the house, I have been awake many times, because of the howling wind. But I’m okay; I’ll take a nap if needed.

Countdown has also begun. It started yesterday even though it should have started Thursday. But who cares. It’s 43 days to go. That is not much time. I still haven’t got the official papers – so they really should arrive with the mail today or tomorrow. After the official papers have arrived, I should receive my flight plans. I remember last time I got my flight plan. I had to go the airport at 3.30am to get the flight to Frankfurt airport. I would arrive around 7am. Then I needed to wait until around 10am where I would take off with the plane heading towards JFK, New York. New York time I would arrive around noon – which mean it would be around 6pm at Danish time. That means around 14 hours of traveling. And nobody knows how long it will take to get through the immigration in JFK. That’s just part of the game.

So right now I need my papers, need flight plan, need a password so I can book at time at the American embassy, so I can get my visa.

Then I need to go to the Town hall, where I will probably spend a few hours getting my international driver license, a form where I can resign myself from the country. (When you’re supposed to go out of country more than 6 months then you have to do this.) I need to talk with the tax center, since I won’t have an income in Denmark for a whole year.

Then I need to go to the embassy to get my visa, they will take my passport and sent it to me and I would be able to enter the states (or: they can actually refuse me entry to the states when I arrive. Hopefully that won’t happen. I don’t see any reason why they should.) I need to go to the doctor, have a last check out, just to be sure. Even though there probably nothing to find. Need some prescriptions. So I can get my Birth control Pills and then I bring some anti histamine for my allergy, just to be sure.

Then around 8 days before departure I will get my tickets in hand, along with something else that I don’t remember right now.

And then all there’s left is packing and actually going. Saying goodbye for a time. Don’t wanna think that far ahead yet. One thing at a time.

In the moment I’m killing time learning baby signing. Which is quit much fun for me. I can count to 10, say animals names, milk, more, cookie, share, color, baby, tree, eat, drink and probably much more. I have made a game out of it. Do the sign before the baby on the video does… That can be very fun.

But I also killing time with baking a lot of Christmas cakes/cookies and do some Christmas shopping, and yes I do Christmas shopping very early. I don’t have a need to rush the day before Christmas Eve (where we get present in Denmark) with all the others. I like to take it slow and be done early, and I’m almost done, just 2 or 3 presents from the goal.

All for now.
Correction: a few tiles from my gable end have been broken, and have possible made a small hole trough the roof. But we will have to check that later. 

Happy, Calm and Exited - We have a Match!

..In the beginning I said, that you could follow the rollercoaster ride. I hope you got the feeling!

I’m very happy know, not thorn or twisted. I’m calm, happy, exited and I can’t wait until January where I will meet my “new” family!

Yes I decided to match with the family. And I have absolutely no doubts. This is what I want, and they are the right family! now I just need to get the official papers. But wanted you to know….

I decided not to go to the job interview in Denmark when I woke up this morning. I had a very bad night sleep. So many thoughts in my mind. I couldn’t find rest. Talked to my mom shortly in the morning and took the decision. Contacted the nursery and told them that I needed to go somewhere else. Then I wrote the e-mail to the family. And now I’m just relived. I know what to do know, in about 7 weeks I will be with my family in the states, and I can’t wait to see them and get to know them!

No tears, not thorn and defiantly not twisted! Just happy, exhausted and exited. Will go to bed..

PS. Have started to translate all Danish posts into English. They will soon be seen on my private website, will tell when the site is up running again.. :)

Thorn, Twisted, Tears

I have to warn you. This is going to be a very long post. I haven’t been posting in two months now. Many things have happened, many things didn’t manage to stick to my plan. My mind is twisted, I find myself in a confusing, unrealistic world. I have no idea what to do or say, I have way too many hours to do nothing which means that I have way to many thought in my head.  Let’s start from the beginning, maybe it won’t be in correct order, but I hope you understand.

Last time I posted I hadn’t heard anything from anyone. I was jealous at all the other au pairs, they had what I want. I decided to sign up for a non-agency matching site, in hope of finding a family who would enter the program. I had many, many families who wanted me from the States. They just didn’t want to be in a program, because they think the agencies trick them; they simply don’t trust the agencies. But I don’t want to go to the States illegally. I have an agency and that’s how it’s going to be. I changed my “dear family letter” and made a few changes in my profile at EurAupair in hope of a family would contact me through my agency.

I had one family contacting me, she was like: I have chosen you! And I only had 2 days to decide, so I told her that it was way to short time for me to decide. She had to spend some more time getting to know me. She never responded back.

I also got offers from families in Europe. In the beginning I turned the offers down. But more came and I started realizing that I might should forget USA and head off to somewhere else. I had contact with many families in Europe, especially families from Switzerland. I ended up with one family from Switzerland. They sounded perfectly. They even invited me down for a couple of days. Just to see if it would work. The family and the children were all very nice, boys will be boys and babies will be babies. But it didn’t feel right. The family agreed, so I didn’t sign contract with anyone.

Then I got home, I had turned down a job offer because I was 95% sure that I was going to Switzerland. I could have had a job in Denmark now. I still don’t have a job.

Well I started dating a guy, very sweet – I don’t know him that well yet, so don’t jump into conclusions – I’m still single!

Then a family contacted me – from the states – via EurAupair! Family with two children: a 3 y.o girl and 4 month old boy.  Moving to another state in December and want me to arrive in January. Their family life and lifestyle is very different from mine I think.

It’s a very healthy family. And with healthy – I mean really, really healthy! They have a dog (I’m allergic) but it’s one of those non-shedding breeds (hypo allergenic). The fact is that I have never had a dog; I know they need to be walked, have food and water, needs to be pad etc. But I don’t have a clue how to behave around a dog, when it lives the same place as I do. They will move to Colorado, near Denver, a city with many young people around. They travel a lot, because they have family and friends many place around the states. So the au pair they chose will see so many things, when she just follows them.  

Then I have applied for a job in a nursery. 30 hour weekly. And they have called me in for an interview tomorrow. But I’m so split right now. These jobs don’t just show up when you need it. I’m not even sure to get it. And if I want to go to the States, then I have to go now, before I get a boyfriend, an education and a flat. This opportunity won’t show again. But I will lose a job because of me being an au pair for the third time! I’m so scared.

Just had a talk with my dad. I have told him my thoughts, he thinks I should go.

I made a plan myself: If I get the job at the nursery tomorrow I will stay in Denmark. If not I will go to the States. But it’s just not that simple.

If I get the job tomorrow: I will have a stabile job, the chance to get my own place, maybe get a boyfriend (who knows) I will earn my own money again. But I also risk, that I will regret that I didn’t leave for the rest of my life.

If I don’t get the job: I will go to the States. I don’t think any au pair is 100% sure of their decision. How can you be 100% before you leave? You have no idea what to expect. Many say afterwards: “I’m so glad I did this for me. I will never regret my decision” But I think all au pairs have a little doubt before leaving. If I leave for the States, I will give up the third job, a place of my own, a potential boyfriend and a clearing in my life.

I’m thorn and in tears. Have no idea what to do.

Off-day

I know I haven’t posted anything for about month now. But seriously – you would get so depressed if you read my thoughts. No need for that.

The fact is that I’m starting to get very frustrated. I don’t have a family, should have left Denmark October 10. – That’s not going to happen. I read other au pairs blogs – and I’m now starting to get very jealous. I want what they have. I don’t understand why I’m not going. I don’t understand what’s wrong with me – since there is no family calling. Why doesn’t they like me, I should be easy to like.

I’m starting to think that I should just let it go – Then it’s just not meant to be. But I want it so bad, I almost had it. I should have started thinking about packing all my stuff down by now – but hey I’m not going, no need to pack. Trying to figure out how to get picked by a family. Maybe I should start all over on my application, and dear family letter. New pictures, more laid back letter. Anything!

Well this ended up being very negative. And I’m still jealous. 

Some days are better than others. Lets just say that today I have an off-day

My Family canceled – now I need to find a new one

 My Family had to cancel because of an unpredictable situation. And I’m starting to realize that I need to get back up on that horse and move on. (Not supposed to sound like, I just want to forget that family – because I won’t.) I wrote an email to MyEducation (Denmark) and told them my situation. They were of course very kind and told me that no one could have predicted it would happen. And that it was a sad, sad situation for the family. I of course agree. Then I was told that there was still possibility to go in October/November. And both MyEducation and EurAupair (America) thought my application was very good. So my hope is back up, just a little wounded.

I checked my emails (I safe all email exchange when it comes to the aupair project) Last time, from when I was accepted and got up online in the system until the family contacted me there went 13 days. So if my math still works out, then theoretically I would have had first contact at September 3. And yes I do know that you can’t count on that. The family can contact you from the moment I get up online and until you get a new family or you regret and get pulled out of the program. So if I’m very unlucky I could get a call in January. If I’m lucky (which I hope I am) then they could call me any minute.

I just hope to find a nice, understanding, sweet family who will let me into their family and let me be a part of their family. But it’s still a bit difficult to think of a “new” family, when the “old” family is still in my mind. I had already prepared my self – on departure and living as a part of this family. And because of a terrible and sad coincident – then I’m not going to live with them. It’s hard to understand but I have to realize it. Now I just have to find a lot of patience. AGAIN! I thought it was nerve racking last time. But that was just peanuts. This time it’s nerve racking. You have little time, no family and a burning wish to go. I just hope that ONE family will read my application and think “wow that’s the one. She will fit perfectly” or just a little thought saying “This girl we have to get to know better she could be the one for our family” And I hope that the family who contact me will be the next family I can see myself in. The family who will take me in as a part of them and the family I will spend my year with.

I just don’t dare to put my hopes up high. And feel safe when I have a family next time.  I had my flight plans, had received my information folders and book. Not before I’m in my new home, in my new bed, where my new family sleeps on the other site of the wall. Not before then - I will feel safe to say: I have a new family.

Well continues to a whole different issue. My website. I actually have forgotten and neglected my homepage ever since I made the final adjustments. I just don’t know what my next project will be about… I need to figure that one out.

As you all know. I’m on vacation on Tenerife and have a great time with my brother. We have mostly just been relaxing at the poolside, playing cards, reading books, playing monopoly and Yatzy. But we have also had the time to go get massage and had some loooong walks. (Almost 10km in the longest) We talk a lot about everything and nothing. Real quality time. I will put up some photos so you can see for yourself.

At Thursday we will go to the volcano Teide. I hope there is a great weather – so I can get some really nice shots. And Friday we will go to Loro Park. A giant Animal park with over 1000 different animal species included with the killer whales and dolphins! I can’t wait to go! 

Well thanks for reading once again

Broken

So much have happened. In these minutes, I’m lying in my hotel room on Tenerife.

You all know that I matched with the greatest family and was really looking forward joining them. Tuesday (august 16.) I received my travel plans. All my flights listed with times and everything. The only thing I actually needed was my visa and the tickets and then I was ready to go. My parents bought me this beautiful suitcase, I bought a bag pack myself which I would have brought with me on the plane. I had Skyped with my family and the kids knew I was coming. And then it all broke.

The family I was going to stay with had to cancel my stay. And they were very sorry. I understand why and truly sent all good and healthy thought towards them. I hope everyone will get better!

But I also have to admit that I’m broken. One minute I was happy – on vacation with my brother and the next minute I’m broken. I don’t understand – everything seemed so great. It happened so fast. The agency called me earlier. But my phone was locked inside the safe, while I was relaxing down by the pool. I don’t know if that was the thing they wanted to contact me about. But it is Friday, it’s weekend and I won’t have a clue what to do before Monday.

Everyone will say: You’ll just find another family. 

But only ONE family contacted me and wanted me.

 I have no job from October 1.  

I’m on vacation and so far away from the agency.

There are only 2 departures left in this year

I want to go before Christmas

What are the odds?

My mind is so twisted right now, I have cried since I got the news. I truly feel with the family in San Diego. I have so many feelings in my system, and I can’t think straight. I just know that I don’t want to celebrate Christmas at home, without my brother and that I’m about to flood the hotel. 

Placement, Study, Countdown, Skype, Vacation

Placement papers and books

Well, well, well. Placement papers arrived Wednesday along with a book called “Dear babysitter handbook”, Euraupairs au pair guide, brochure about the program, a “what to know” brochure and a printed version of host family profile.  

“Dear babysitter handbook” is a good tool, you have pages where you are supposed to write all information about contact persons, children’s ages – diseases  etc., Doctor and hospital numbers, emergency numbers, CPR, how to give medicin, housrules, basicly everything! But it also goes trough all ages from 0-12, with behaviour, tips and what to do.  

The idea is very good, and I think I will use  the pages with emergency numbers, contact information etc.  But personally I knew everything about the childrens ages. But I also have the experience with me. I know not to shake a baby, I know 3-5 year olds is testing and want to be independent. So I actually only need to read and remember what to do when different injuries comes up and when the child gets ill. It’s always good to refresh your memory. :)

The euraupair au pair guide and the two brochures is good to have, but was no news to me – I’m a person who check out what I’m signing up for. And did this research in December, January and Febuary. But I will read it once again and keep it. So if I suddenly forget what I’m up for, then I check ;)

The Host Family profile, is just a lot of information I already had but I also got the names of the different coordinators, the three closest colleges/universities.

Study

When I already have mentioned the study places I can continue with my so far research.  I have looked up the three places. And I have really worked hard to find out which courses they can offer me.  And I have to remember that I need 6 units to complete my program.

San Diego Mesa College:  It was very easy to find out what to search for. Future students à programs & courses. Then you can easily clich on the subjects, and read about specific courses and how many units.

Grossmont college: also easy to find. Apply and enrol à catalog à part five. The only thing is that my  computer only have manage to download ¼ of the catalog. But units is also shown. Very simple.

SDSU: This site is driving me nuts! It is so hard to find what I need. Such a long way when you don’t know what to look for! Well I hope I have found it, but can’t see the units and hope that minors is the same as courses.

I’m glad I don’t have to decide right away. Thinking about a lot of subjects to study I have thought about: Dance, Marketing, Communication, Spanish, German, business, all different kinds of arts and nutrition. But I’m waiting to the catalogs from 2012 will show.  

Countdown – NY then CA

A strange feeling is starting to take place in my stomack. And the countdown has slowly started. NY workshop is going to be a real hard start. I will arrive in the states, for the first time, need to get to the hostel, will meet my “roomies” and we are probably all just so exited, exhausted and hyped that we will go find the nearest Starbucks and then go to bed and have very little sleep and BANG the show begin. 4 days of training - from early in the morning to late in the evening.  In something I with a big chance already know. But the agency gave me the advice that I have to be active in classes, so I don’t get to bored. But I’m sure it’s going to be fun when I first get started.

And then it’s probably a flight with destination San Diego. And then I will meet my new family and start my adventure. Can’t wait!

Skype

Tomorrow I will Skype with my new family. We have agreed to have a “Skype-date” in the weekends so we can keep in touch and get to know each other better before my arrival. The only thing is that I need to find some kind of internet when I’m in Tenerife. I just checked the hotel information, and it’s possible to get wireless internet – for a smaller amount. But I need to check the internet signal before setting up the next “Skype-date”  I would be nice to Skype even though I’m on vacation. Because I have found out that there ain’t long, before I go. With this coming weekend, 9 weekends before take of from Denmark – pretty scary

Vacation

Well as I mentioned I will go to Tenerife. I will leave with my brother Tuesday and have 2 weeks on a luxury hotel, wellness and spa, children free. We have ordered massage and breakfast.The reason for no children choice is that I work with small children every single day. And there is a lot of screaming and crying in a work day – Since it’s not all of them who have a speaking language. So It’s not because I don’t like children. I just know that when I’m going to have my own children, I won’t be able to do this kind of vacation if they have to come. Children are more than welcome, just not in my hotel and in my pool for 2 weeks :)

Our room will head towards the pool and I just look forward spending some quality time with my brother before I leave. He will also go to Kosovo but only for 2½ month. But still non of us is home for Christmas. But that is probably for the best. It would be much harder if only one of us were home, without the other sibling. But I also really look forward to see how a real American Christmas turn out. Is it like the movies or is it something very different. And will I spend Christmas with my family?? Well at lot of questions, but time will show :)

I hope to do a little update from Tenerife. If not – have a great summer! I will be back in the fall.(September)

Match - SO EXITED

So exited! I will leave in October. I have matched with first and only family who contacted me. We just seem to match very well. Single mom, twins – a boy and girl. Both of them very cute!

I’m thrilled, because like every single Au Pair – I was afraid not to be picked. And still feel kind of weird that only one family “liked” me. But I’m very glad that exactly that family chose to contact me. Haven’t regretted a bit.

It all began when the family contacted me and we e-mailed. Then they were told that I could arrive in August and my heart skipped many beats! So I had to tell them, that I wasn’t able to go in August, since I wouldn’t be able to put down my resignation in time to quit. Then I was asked if I could arrive in September, which I could in theory. But I thought about it, and I didn’t feel ready to leave in September. At the time then I would only have 2 weeks work left and then 3 weeks’ vacation. It would be great, but it didn’t feel right just to leave with such short notice. I feel bonded to all the kids in the nursery and many of them and my colleagues were on vacation, and then I wouldn’t be able to say goodbye. It would fell very very wrong. So I told them that I could come in October and if that didn’t work for them then they had to find another au pair. I felt soooo bad when I sent of that email. But needed to be honest and true to myself. And then I got my first emotional rollercoaster ride. I cried and I cried, I was so sad that I had to give this perfect family an ultimatum. Then I thought about a lot of people I care about, the goodbye’s – then I cried even more, then I thought about the poor family – then I cried again. In the end I shut down my computer and tucked myself in. And then I started crying all over again.

If anyone has a single doubt – Yes I can get VERY emotional, I was close to getting hysterical. But I managed to stop crying a few minutes before the sleep took over.

Then I had the warmest and caring email. That she had been without an au pair for a while and that she was able to manage until October. Then we Skyped. And when I shut down the computer I just knew!

I can’t describe how it feels, but I was so sure that this family was “THE” family. The family I wanted to stay with and live and work for. No doubts and the next emails just confirmed it. The agency has now been advised and I just need to know what the next step is.

October seems very far away but yet so close. One week left of work, three weeks’ vacation, 4 weeks work left before I stop. And I have about 28 hours that I need to take of before I quit, so it’s actually only 3 weeks left when you start taking 28 hours out of 4 weeks.Then 10 days until Departure. I’m so happy and relieved and is so exited to live with this family. They are so nice and I just can’t wait.

66 days to New York workshop

So exited I want to scream!

First Family Contact

I’ve been contacted by a family. I don’t want to tell names or too much information about members of the family, since I don’t have permission or agreed and signed contract. What I can tell is that the family lives in California, and that I have Skyped with them. And I’m really positive. They seem very nice and calm. Children were very sweet and acted just like siblings do.

A good advice, check out the time differences when you need to call/Skype with families. I have made my own converter in a word document. It shows me all hours around the clock and then what time it is in California. I live in Denmark and in “summertime” I’m 9 hours in front of California. So when it’s 9 am in Denmark, it’s midnight in California. So in the middle of the day where I live, the family is asleep. We Skyped when it was around 7.30 am in California and 4.30 pm in Denmark. It is actually the “best” time to do it. No one has to get up in the middle of the night, and both of us are on the same date, because we both have crossed midnight.

In weekends, I would be able to stay up later or even after midnight. Since I wouldn’t need to go to work.  But on workdays, I need my sleep. So I can have all the energy to do my job.  It’s just a good idea to find a time, where it fits both parts. – That’s why I use a converter in a word document. I can always see what time it is, at the possible destination.

I look forward to Skype again, both side have questions for each other. And then I’m just excited to get to know a whole new family :)

Today my dad and I went to the zoo, it was real good weather, wasn’t too much heat or too many clouds. Just perfect. Afterward we bought a sandwich on our way home, and headed for the beach. We sat down and ate while we were looking cross the water. Then we went home.

Is pretty exhausted today, had a morning opener at work yesterday morning - 6.30 am,  Then home, relaxing, Skyping and then I meet with some colleagues, one of them is starting on a new job Monday, so we had a nice and calm evening with a few drinks – not much. But it was a nice evening. Got home at few minutes past midnight. But it was a looong day.

So after wandering around in the zoo and at the beach – I could really use a nap.  Just 20-30 minutes so I can keep myself awake tonight.

But a few nice days :) Good start in the weekend.

So many thoughts

So many thoughts in my head! So much have happened the last couples of days.

Everyone has already heard about the tragedy in Norway. All my thoughts go to the victims, their family, friends and just the Norwegian population. A Special thought goes to Michelle, a Norwegian/Danish girl I meet and spend three weeks with in our language school in Brighton 2007. I hope and pray that you’re alright! Also to an old school friend of mine, Her mother is Norwegian, I hope she’s going to make it through, Home must be real far away when something like this is happening.

So many young people have lost their life’s. And I can’t find one good reason! I don’t understand why the defendant needed to do this. They were so young, so innocent, having fun, having their own political meaning. Why is that so wrong?!

I don’t see the meaning of this life, when something like this happens. Because it shouldn’t happen! Why is it that we can’t live side by side in peace? I don’t care about color, social status, religion or lifestyle.  I respect differences and respect democracy!

I do fear the day it will happen in Denmark. And some people say: but I won’t! But I believe it will, so many times we have seen it getting so close. The police and PET have been able to stop it, before it actually happens. But someday they won’t be fast enough, even though they are really, really good at their jobs, some day they will miss something. And it will happen. I don’t know when or where, I know which areas in Copenhagen are very busy, filled up with people every day. So does the police. Unfortunately I can’t prevent it. Though I really want to. I have to trust the police and their work. I don’t know when it’s going to happen, and I’m kind of glad I don’t. I can fear it, but it will never make me live differently. Yes I fear it, but I will never let the people who do this win.

I also fear a lot, if something is going to happen, when I’m in the states. What if something happens to my family or friends, back home in Denmark. I won’t be there, to support and help. I will sit helplessly, on the other side of the planet. Getting the updates to late because of time differences.

I’m afraid of school shootings. School shooting have been a subject in my English classes three years in a row. I have seen “bowling from Columbine” at least 4 times. I have read about Virginia tech many times to. It’s so unfair! You can not excuse these people from doing it. I’m going to study in America, and I am still going to America as an au pair. When I’m there, I probably don’t think about it. But in times like this I do.

Everything comes with a risk. The airplane can crash, you can be hit by a car, and you can fall down the stairs and die. If we had to live risk-free then we shouldn’t live. We couldn’t, we just have to go on with our lives. Here in Denmark, Norway, America, Japan, Australia, Afghanistan, Russia, all over the world. We cannot live without risk. We have to do our best every day, and take one step at a time. Things like the tragedy in Norway shocks us, but we have to live!

And then a happy thing: A big goodbye to Rikke, another blogger www.rikkesimone.com . Who is leaving today to become an au pair in New Zealand. Can’t wait to hear about your journey!

Ballerina and Thinking

Well it’s Monday – my day off. And I’m so bored today... Have cleaned up my room, did it the other day to, so there wasn’t really much to clean. So I sat down, turned on my IPod, and made a handmade ballerina in cardboard. You can see the result below…

My swing broke yesterday. For those who’s thinking “Swing? Aren’t you 20?” Yes I’m 20, and my swing in the backyard is my thinking place. I go out there, listening to music, think and dream. Where other people might relax with a book or the TV. I relax most when I’m sitting on my swing, just listening to music. It’s the place where the decision is made and taken to consideration. And in the moment I have 1000 of thoughts everyday to figure out.

Is it a bit childish, maybe – maybe not. I can live without it, but it’s a nice place to have when thoughts are going wild or I need a break from everything.

In the moment I’m thinking about the Au Pair thing. I’m I really ready to leave for whole year? Because, I’m signing up for a whole year. There are so many things to consider. I’m leaving my life behind for a year. My job, friends, family, home, stability, security, everything! And then I’m off to a whole new country. A country you hear and see so much about. All the great movies and TV-shows. The good old American Dreams. But in the same time I know, that it’s not the American dream I’m going to enter. It’s hard work, new culture, you have to start from the bottom and you only have one year, before you leave again. Why?

Because I need it. For twenty years now, I have lived in the same country, in the same town, on the same street and in the same house.  It have gotten so “ordinary” There are no big surprises. The life just goes on and on in the same routine and I need some fresh air. I need to see how it also can be done. See the world trough new eyes. I need to challenge myself. I will be forced to speak with strangers, I will have to adapt to another culture and lifestyle.  I’m going to be the “new girl” who doesn’t know how things are done – in the American way. It all sound so scary to me. But I need a boost.

It’s just the hard goodbyes, the tears, all the hugs and kisses. Knowing that people will miss me. Knowing that they will get hurt (in a hopefully good way) Not being able to run back to my momma’s skirts and hide. Not being able to discuss the most banal stuff with my brother. Because we will probably spend the time on Skype on good and funny stuff instead.  I’m going to be vulnerable without me shields.

But hey, I’m going to have the time of my life. New friends, a new family, so many memories, lifetime learning. And hopefully (knock under the table) everyone will be there when I come back. It’s just for a while. And 1 year is going faster than you think!

interview done, waiting time begins

Interview went well, got a lot of information – but its okay. We went through what’s going to happen now. Cause it can be quit tricky to know. We looked at some of the papers, everything was fine.

But (for them) it’s a shame that I can’t go ASAP. But I have a contract, and with that follows a “term of notice.” I have to give my employer the rest of the month plus an extra month notice, before I can quit and stop my job.  So if I lay down my resignation today, I would have to stay rest of July plus all of August. And then I would be “free” But even if I did so, I wouldn’t give me guaranty that I would have a family in the beginning of September. So Hopefully I will leave October-November. There are only 1 departure in those months and no departure in December. But with my references and experience, I don’t think it’s going to be a problem. (At least I hope so, so does MyEducation)

      To apply, to become an au pair might seem as an easy thing. But it’s actually not just a form you have to fill out. It’s a lot of paperwork! A lot of waiting time! Everything have to be done correct, no mistakes, perfection and a lot of time & energy!

     Then interview at the agency (In my Case MyEducation)(not difficult at all) then papers sent to America (EurAupair), then they will have to check all my papers. If everything is all right. Then they will upload me in their system.

     Then the family will see my profile/application in a database.

     Then they will contact me, email/phone calls/Skype.

     Then you need to get to know each other. Find out if your personality and/or lifestyle match.

     If not, then you will have to wait for the next family to contact you. Maybe you will get to know several families in the same period of time.

     When you FINALLY find a family you want to match with, and they want to match with you. There are (drum roll) MORE PAPERWORK. It’s actually kind of a contract/agreement you will have about the placement.

     Then you need to apply for a visa.

     Get an interview at the embassy.

     Get accepted, get your visa.

     And then you actually “just” need to pack down your stuff, leave your old life for a year, say goodbye to everyone important.

     And last but not least your FLIGHTTICKET. I’m so glad that MyEducation will take care of that one!

Please don’t get frightened by this. I truly believe that it’s worth everything. On the paper it’s a lot of stuff, but much of it belongs with each other. And to be honest, I just want it to be October/November NOW. I know the next 1½ month probably is going to be wild. One is that I got my job in the nursery, but another is that this circus will be started. Families will call (cross your fingers!) Decisions will be taken. And I look forward to my adventure can begin.