Ballerina and Thinking

Well it’s Monday – my day off. And I’m so bored today... Have cleaned up my room, did it the other day to, so there wasn’t really much to clean. So I sat down, turned on my IPod, and made a handmade ballerina in cardboard. You can see the result below…

My swing broke yesterday. For those who’s thinking “Swing? Aren’t you 20?” Yes I’m 20, and my swing in the backyard is my thinking place. I go out there, listening to music, think and dream. Where other people might relax with a book or the TV. I relax most when I’m sitting on my swing, just listening to music. It’s the place where the decision is made and taken to consideration. And in the moment I have 1000 of thoughts everyday to figure out.

Is it a bit childish, maybe – maybe not. I can live without it, but it’s a nice place to have when thoughts are going wild or I need a break from everything.

In the moment I’m thinking about the Au Pair thing. I’m I really ready to leave for whole year? Because, I’m signing up for a whole year. There are so many things to consider. I’m leaving my life behind for a year. My job, friends, family, home, stability, security, everything! And then I’m off to a whole new country. A country you hear and see so much about. All the great movies and TV-shows. The good old American Dreams. But in the same time I know, that it’s not the American dream I’m going to enter. It’s hard work, new culture, you have to start from the bottom and you only have one year, before you leave again. Why?

Because I need it. For twenty years now, I have lived in the same country, in the same town, on the same street and in the same house.  It have gotten so “ordinary” There are no big surprises. The life just goes on and on in the same routine and I need some fresh air. I need to see how it also can be done. See the world trough new eyes. I need to challenge myself. I will be forced to speak with strangers, I will have to adapt to another culture and lifestyle.  I’m going to be the “new girl” who doesn’t know how things are done – in the American way. It all sound so scary to me. But I need a boost.

It’s just the hard goodbyes, the tears, all the hugs and kisses. Knowing that people will miss me. Knowing that they will get hurt (in a hopefully good way) Not being able to run back to my momma’s skirts and hide. Not being able to discuss the most banal stuff with my brother. Because we will probably spend the time on Skype on good and funny stuff instead.  I’m going to be vulnerable without me shields.

But hey, I’m going to have the time of my life. New friends, a new family, so many memories, lifetime learning. And hopefully (knock under the table) everyone will be there when I come back. It’s just for a while. And 1 year is going faster than you think!