week 6

Week 6

Mette is back home, the other Danish girl who started the same time as I. She wrote me today, I just shut down. I went into a state of shock and just stared at the screen and read the message over and over again. Things wasn’t that good, her and her hostmom had a discussion which lead to her going back home.I don’t know other info about it. I knew she had a hard time, but I didn’t know she would head back home. But that is how it is and I have a lot of respect for her to take the decision. When you are this far away from home things are put into perspective, some have what it takes and other just don’t have the au pair-gene and nothing is wrong with that. She dared to take the chance, tell her goodbyes, get into at plane, cross the Atlantic sea, meet 27 other girls in the same “pressured” and exiting situation. She dared to put aside her way of living and join a new family with their lifestyle and living. And I would also like to admit: It’s fucking hard!

Many people sit with the view: Oh au pair, that’s just taking care of a few kids, and get some experiences and party all the time. But seriously it’s not a “piece-of-cake” to do so.

Personally I spend 2 years motivating and finding out to go, ½ year to prepare an “study” blogs, agencies etc. After ½ year of research I pushed a “not-binding” send button on the internet and then the show began.

What you do isn’t easy, it’s extremely hard, I thought I knew how hard it could be before I actually went. I thought I was prepared, but not on the fact that it’s THAT hard. I have a hard time – I survive.

Some days are good, some days are just crap and you want to pack your stuff and leave. I have had those thoughts many au pairs get. Is this really me, they don’t like me, I’m never gonna survive, it’s hard – I wanna go home. But that’s the bad days. Missing – homesickness can be a big battle for some persons. I miss 2 persons really much: My brother and my best friend. As late as today I Skyped with Linea, I both laughed and cried. Min friend has a big decision to make, a decision that I once had to take myself, and it’s hurting me that she’s hurt. Those who know me really well knows that I would never let down a person a truly care about. Did she or other persons after they considered the consequence they put me in: asked me to come home, I would come home fast as possible. My family, my family friends and my best friend will always be in the first row.

So missing can be extreamly hard to battle with. I have now been with the family and it have been a rollercoaster ride. One is that Jade have had a hard time copping with all the changes, second is that the parents have been stressed about house sale, house buying, remodeling new house, which we by the way moved into yesterday. Third is that we are very different on some subjects, I wished to see new ways to do things – and o’boy I defiantly have seen that. It’s very big changes I face here. Changes which “stride” against the way I was raised and how things were done in the nursery.

I have felled a very big pressure. Not enough with that I have to get used to something new and different, I have also had to handle a girl who is beside herself, I need to handle a new culture, I suddenly need to let go of my shyness for strangers– which is something I still fights a lot with. I need to accept that I don’t have the usual people around me, I have to accept time zones. It’s a lot of things to handle, a lot of thing which you can’t prepare for, things you haven’t imagined you had to handle. It’s a lot of things and it put the psyche under pressure. On top of that, my mom and I don’t speak because of a stupid discussion.

To sit on the other side of the earth, where you’re “alone things a put in perspective, yoy think about some things, you change opinions because your normal surroundings can’t “manipulate” There isn’t that much grey-view, just black and white. I have gotten some opinions to my own life, where Mom isn’t included og where I need “less” Mom. That’s why there is silence between us, I have said some hard words, been writing with capital letters, had my fences up.

Many thinks that decisions are hard to make, but it isn’t the decision which is har to take, yes/no or Send/cancel not rocket science. It’s the part that you have to live with your decision which is hard.

I said yes to this “project” which I signed up for myself. Knowing that I wouldn’t come home as the same. I will still be me on the outside, but inside things are changing  - that’s the way the human being develop and survive. New techniques, ways to think, ways to behave, new emotions and opinions. Same bottle – new taste.

So to be an au pair isn’t easy, if people thinks so, they defiantly should not go, it’s not easy in any way. Work and a routine continues everything else changes.

So an advice for girls who wants to be au pairs: think about it, think about pros and cons, research, you have to live with your decision, it’s a very learning experience, a great experience and chance, but it’s also hard work. Both literally but also hard work for your psyche.

I’m happy about my decision, I’m glad that I finally took a plunge, took a decision and did it. Mette, the other au pair found that the au pair life wasn’t her – and I got big respect for that! She got an experience, she learned something about herself, many will say failure but hell NO! it’s not a failure to go home. In the moment you get here you win! You dared to do what many other never in their lives would dare, you have already won and “proofed”  that you could do it.

Is the au pair life me? I don’t know, so many things have been happening for the last 6 weeks, so I don’t know. Some days I will say, yep this is 100 % me, other days I will hesitate and say no this isn’t me.

Now we have moved, things should be a little better. I have told myself that I need to give it at least 1 month in the new house before making up my mind.

I really care about hostfamily, they are really nice and I hope I’m going to stay. But I need to go through more of the adjusting period before I 100 % can make up my mind whether or not it’s me. Some got the gene, others doesn’t. And you’ll never know 100% before you’re in the situation.

I’m good, hopes to settle down soon.   

Danske Tanker (Danish Post)

This post will be in Danish. Reason is that I have a lot of Danish thoughts and translating it is not gonna be right now.. But thank god for translate tools :)

Hej alle sammen der hjemme… Så sidder jeg her I Boulder, på et værelse I et hus som jeg kun skal bo I et par dage endnu. Og nej – jeg har ikke været i rematch. Men familien har boet i et midlertidigt hus, og vi skal være ude lørdag. Det nye hus mangler stadigvæk lidt, men det kommer hen ad vejen. Mit værelse er klart, så det bliver rart at komme ordentligt på plads.

Grunden til jeg skriver på dansk er fordi jeg bare føler at jeg skal skrive på dansk lige nu. Normalt skriver jeg en gang om ugen, men i dag får i lidt ekstra tanker. Jeg savner ikke Danmark som sådan, jeg mangler det kendte i min hverdag, jeg mangler min bedste veninde. Tingene herovre er ikke helt som beskrevet, først og fremmest er det utrolig svært at få kontakt til min CC, der gik næsten en måned før jeg fik mit ”opstarts” møde. Jeg ved hun har travlt og at hun gør det frivilligt – alt respekt for det. Men når man arbejder som stewadesse er man ikke til rådighed som man skal. Hun har et mærkeligt skema, som hun oven i hatten kun kender en måned frem.  Så det er meget uforudsigeligt hvad der sker, det gode er at hun selv har været au pair i USA, hun er fra Slovakiet og arbejdede som au pair for 10 år siden. I dag er hun gift med en amerikaner.

Men jeg har virkelig og føler stadigvæk at jeg bliver tabt lidt på gulvet. Jeg har været meget tæt på at overveje rematch, da jeg ikke syntes at jeg har trives. Jeg ved at der er en tilvæningsperiode på ca. 90 dage. Men nogle ting kan man ikke vænne sig til, og så er der ting jeg personligt ikke har lyst til at vænne mig til.

Lad os tage den fra start: Først og fremmest er familien jeg er landet på rigtig søde. Det er slet ikke deres personligheder jeg er/har været i konflikt med. Men rettere deres måde at ville opdrage deres børn på. Alle er forskellige, jeg er taget her over for at få et andet syn på ”sagen” men var jeg blevet fortalt det var den måde de ønskede at deres børn skulle opdrages på, så havde jeg nok ikke valgt dem. Men en anden fakta er at jeg nu sidder her, og ville ønske at jeg havde de informationer før jeg tog beslutningen om at tage af sted. Sket er sket, jeg kan ikke gøre noget.

Min familie flyttede til Boulder; hvor vi bor, 2 uger før jeg ankom. De har forladt alt hvad de kender, alle vender, deres gamle hus, deres elskede Nanny, alt er efterladt og de skal nu starte fra scratch. Men det kan pigen på ingen måde finde ud af. Først og fremmest holdte de ”orlov” og rejste rundt i landet 2-3 måneder før de faktisk flyttede. Så Pigen er jo nu vant til at have sine forældre omkring sig 24/7. Hun har forladt alt, sine venner og sin elskede Nanny. Hun har reageret meget voldsomt, og forælderne har selv sagt at de aldrig har set hende sådan. Hun råber og skriger. Er fjendsk, ond og faktisk irriterende. At jeg lige pludselig kommer, hjælper på ingen måde.

Nu er der gået en måned, hun er helt bestemt blevet bedre. Men vi har stadigvæk vores ture. Jeg prøver så vidt det er muligt at holde mig til forældrernes måde at opdrage på, det er mig som skal tilvænne mig deres liv, ikke omvendt. Jeg prøver, men det er godt nok svært, når man føler alt magt og autoritet som voksen er blevet taget fra mig. Giver man hende et nej – hyler hun og siger det ikke er sandt, løber ind til mor og prøver at manipulerer. Nogle gange lykkedes det, andre gange ikke. Hun er blevet bedre, men jeg frygter at skulle flytte over i det nye hus. Jeg kan personligt ikke tage mere hyleri og skrigeri som der var i starten. Og  jeg kan ikke andet end at tale, med en sød lille baby-stemme og forklare hende at sådan gør man ikke, og det må man altså ikke. Alt voksen-magt jeg havde i institutionen er taget fra mig. Det går bedre, men jeg nægter at tage en måned mere med skrigeri.

Det er måske lidt hårdt sagt, men jeg har sagt til mig selv at jeg tager en måned i det nye hus og ser hvordan det går.

Samtidig med alt det her fis, så har jeg ikke noget socialt liv overhoved. Jeg har været ude med en dansk pige fra et andet agentur én gang, det var meget hyggeligt. Men vi har ikke kunne finde nogen dag efter. Da familien er nye i byen, kender de jo heller ingen. Og de har skulle sælge et hus og købe og resturerer et nyt. Så det har heller ikke hjulpet på det. Min CC kontaktede mig først efter jeg skrev en meget lang, meget frustrerende mail til hende efter 3 uger. Familien er rigtig søde til at sige, du kan bare tage bilen om aftenen, hvilket er rigtig fedt, men hvor helvede skal jeg køre hen? Et er jeg ingen har at mødes med og noget andet er jeg ikke har noget kort eller nogen GPS. Så chancen for at farer vild er bare for stor til at jeg overhoved vil prøve at kører fremmede steder hen i bilen. Cyklen kan jeg også låne, den har bare ingen lås. Og da Boulder er en Cykel/motions by så er cykeltyveri den mest udbredte kriminalitet. Så det er total frustrerende.

Så rigtig mange ting har gjort at jeg ikke rigtig kan falde til. Dagene går bare og går. Står op, spiser morgenmad, leger, frokost, leger, nap-time, leger, vagt ovre. 5 dage om ugen, fra ca. 8.30 - 5/5.30. Tiderne er der jo bestemt ikke noget galt med, det er jo total luksus. Men når man ikke har noget at glæde sig til efter arbejde og når den ældste ikke altid er så skide samarbejdsvillig. Så trækker det altså utrolig hårdt ned.

Jeg er heller ikke på talefod med min mor. Jeg fortalte hende at hun ikke skulle pylre og skrive hver gang. Og så kaldte hun mig egoist og sagde jeg kunne skrive til min far hvis jeg ville noget og det gjorde jeg så. Så blev der fred, så skrev hun og jeg fortalte hende at jeg faktisk nød stilheden og at jeg syntes at den skulle fortsætte. Det gjorde kun det hele meget værre. Så vi taler ikke med hinanden. Det der med at skulle accepterer at ens datter sidder på den anden side af jorden, har hun lidt svært ved. Jeg ved det godt – hun er min mor, hun elsker mig. Og jeg elsker også hende. Men det blev simpelthen for meget. Og jeg har rigeligt at tænke på og så meget sker der sgu heller ikke. Og jeg har heller ikke lyst til at skrive ”har ikke tid” hver gang hun skriver. Men meget overraskende så genere det mig faktisk ikke synderligt at vi har det problem. Statistisk har 80% af alle mødre og døtre en krise når datteren er i 20érne. Så jeg tager det stille og roligt. Hun får opdateringer som alle andre på bloggen så hun er altså ikke skåret helt fra hvis der var nogle der tænkte det.

Så godt råd til alle andre, tal lige godt og grundigt med jeres mor, før i vælger at rejse. Og opdater samtalen lige før du tager af sted. I sidder på den anden side af jorden, de kan ikke gøre noget alligevel, de bliver nødt til at give slip og lade jer leve jeres nye ”midlertidige” liv. Og hvis de forventer at de får den samme datter hjem igen, så kan det godt være de skal accepterer at sådan bliver det altså ikke. Jeg kan allerede nu mærke at jeg har ændret mig. Det er svært at forklare hvordan, man kan bare mærke at der er sket noget (hvilket er ret naturligt)

Jo der er noget jeg savner, jeg savner mit New-York-Gang fra Workshoppen. Utroligt hvad 5 dage kan gøre ved én. Men de tøser savner jeg monster meget, jeg er sikker på at; hvis de boede lige omkring mig, så ville jeg slet ikke sidde her og skrive. Så ville jeg have det helt fantastisk dejligt og alle bekymre ville bare blive talt væk. Jeg savner dem, nogle at snakke med, nogle at have det sjovt med, grine med. Men jeg savner ikke hjem, jeg elsker at være i USA – hvor mærkeligt det end lyder så elsker jeg at være i USA. Arbejdssituation kunne være bedre. Men jeg er her og jeg skal nok overlevedet her. Det der ikke slår dig ihjel – gør dig kun stærkere (MOR!)

Pyha, en masse løse tanker. Det er måske ret deprimerende at læse. Men det er altså fint at være au pair, man dør ikke af det. Der er nogle forhindringer som virker meget uoverskuelige lige nu. Men de er sikkert ikke så store. Nu vil jeg bare gerne flytte ind på mit værelse, så de tanker kan komme ud af mit hoved og jeg kan få  ro på den front.

Undskyld langt indlæg og stavefejl hvis der er nogle.

Week 5

Another week just rolled by. We only have one week left in the temp house, Valentine’s day hit the US, I have found that just because it’s an aquarium it doesn’t mean they can’t have tigers, I’m really starting to like cranberry/cheddar cheese on crackers and American Just isn’t the same as milk anywhere else. As long as It’s on my rolled oats in the morning, I’ll live, but never in my life I’m gonna drink it. Also the week where I purchased my first items, boots & running shoes and the week where I’ finally almost know when Linea is going to visit.

Well, Tuesday Valentine’s day. Wauw it’s so huge. I have always been against it. I think it’s crap that flowers, chocolate, and cards are getting doubled in prize it’s absolutely ridiculous. And the fact that people think it’s the only day you can go all in on the romance. I saw a car, by the local school, decorated with flowers, balloons and a note. It’s SO sweet, but so “normal” to do it on that day. People should say the three little words without getting ripped at the store. And also just be able to do it other times at the year. It’s really not that dangerous to tell that you care about them, not even if it’s February, May, July, September or December 14^th seriously! Sweet thought but way to overwhelming.

I like the pre-school thing, Jade handed out valentines cards to all her friends at school, and they did the same. That’s so sweet, it’s children and it’s special. But come on grown-ups you ARE allowed to say it at other times.

We went down to Denver Saturday, to lock at some granit and Murphy beds – which is a concept I love, Denmark should literally do more in Murphy beds, it’s genius. When we were done, we went to go see the aquarium, we were meet by a very, very long line. It turns out it’s the most popular day of the year, and no one knows why. Well why Sam stood in line we went inside to order some lunch. It was delicious, expensive – but delicious. Then we headed for the aquarium, a lot of different fishes, turtles, snakes ? , otters ? , sharks and even 4 fully alive tigers ?! Well, it’s America everything can happen. But never in my life I would have imagined that 4 male tigers would live in a aquarium. 3 of them was brothers, and one “single”. They had a fine cage, with water around with fishes in of course.  And It looked fine, but why they would have them is still a question for me. Maybe the only alternative have been to put them down, but still, it’s weird.

We feeded the stingrays, touched them – a really cool experience.. so soft in at slimy way, even though they weren’t slimy. Jade got a little tiger painted on her cheek.

Cheddar/cranberry cheese on crackers are delicious. Never been in to the whole cheese thing, but it’s really delicious. As long as it’s mild it’s good. Veggie cheese and cheddar with or without cranberry, yum yum.

The milk here is SO not the same as back home in Denmark. It’s so pasteurized, it have this weird taste, it’s fine on my rolled oats, but to drink it’s hideous. Not gonna drink milk as I did in Denmark.

Sunday morning, I Skyped with Linea. Nice to actually talk to her. We almost talked for two hours, we have found out where we are going in July when she visits. Washington DC. The power of the States. I never imagined it would be that but, I’m so in on it. To see all the museums (probably not ALL) the monuments, pentagon, white house etc. this is where it all happens! So cool. Linea will have 5 days in Boulder with me, and then we are going to have 5 days in DC together before she head back home… it’s gonna be awesome! Look so much forward seeing her! Again it sucks big time that she’s not around, to by shoes, watch movies, talk several hours in a row, strolls in the city. IT SUCKS.

Well speaking of shoes, my long black, fake leather boots is literally dead, [see pictures!] the “leather” started to crwl up, break loose, which meant wet feed, then the sole is open, so all the ice and snow found a nice place to hide, way to cold, when you spend hours outside in the snow. So New black boots – WATERPROOF how been purchased. And since I was at the store I might as well look after running shoes. Space in one suitcase really is way too little! So my running shoes is back home in Denmark. So I now have purchased a pair of new ones. They are very light, and extremely shinny and colorful, no one will doubt that I’m around when wearing them. But as long as they work I’m happy.

One week left in the temp house. And then it’s moving to the new house 1 mile away, cross a bigger road. So it’s not to bad, and I’m not gonna move anymore, I can settle down, and find myself and get a normal routine without thinking, Oh I’m gonna move anyways. So look forward to that.

Week 4

Allright, energy have been quiet low, so Sunday evening where I usually blog I just wanted to sleep. Monday, worned out after 10½ hour workday.

Now it’s Tuesday, it’s February 14^th – meaning valentines Day and school day for Jade. So I’m awake, since I have Teegan, he’s asleep. So while he sleeps in the new kind of rocking chair with music, which I love, since I don’t have to carry him during all of his sleep, only able to sit down and sit still  for 20 minutes or so. So I’m totally sold. I’ll try to write down as much as I can, from last week. Only taking the peeks.

Sam was out of town Mon-Wed. So Erin needed a little more help, we managed and things went well I think. By Thursday evening I had worked 35 hours, probably a little more, but counting minutes and half hours here and there is waste of time. The au pair program is to get flexible child care. As long as I don’t work more than 10 hours dayly and 45 hours weekly. It got a little over this week, that happens and as long as I don’t do that every single week, or way to often things should be fine.

After being here a month – I think that all of us have realized how different we are. It takes some time to adjust for everyone. In two weeks we will move into the new house, and another change will hit the family, but you can say it’s a more stabile change, this is where we are going to live. Which probably will help me too. I think the fact that I knew this wasn’t “my home” has done it a little harder for me to settle. One thing is adjusting and get settled in the family, but when you don’t have “your room” where you will stay for a year, it’s making it difficult. No furniture are belongings of the family. So non is their stuff except toys and clothing. So hopefully it will get better when we get settled in the new house. There might be “bumps” again, and a “second” adjusting time will begin.

Getting the new house done before we move in is after my feeling a little tight. Surprises can suddenly show up, so I might work “harder” than normal weeks, within the rules of course. So if I don’t blog on time as usual, I apologizee. But my work, health and sleep are my first priority.

Last week was the week where I got very mad at the Danish post system. We pay so much money sending letters. We pay to send and delivery. Not pick-ups. Here you get your mail and deliver your mail in your own postbox. What a joy! I seriously want more from my money back home in Denmark. No more trying to find a big red postbox where the pick-up-time hasn’t run out. Just go to your postbox right outside your house, put the letters in, raise the red flag and don’t worry any longer. So simple. I love this system!

Au Pair orientation meeting with my CC for the first time was Wedenesday, Silvia is originally from Slovakia and was an au pair in the states 10 years ago. Now living here and is an airhostess. Which is the reason she can be a little difficult to get in contact with. It’s also the reason we don’t know our meeting dates in advance, she only know her work schedule 1 month in advance,  so that is just how it is. But fortunately we are only 3 girls in the cluster, one girl lives 2 hours away because she don’t have her own cluster in her city. So we are actually only 2 girls from Boulder area. Meeting went well, we talked about how I have been, went through the main areas in our handbook, over a cup of tea. It was nice to finally get a face on the person.

In the weekend Mimi and PJ got to Boulder, to help out with the house. I stayed home to get some time to think and talk and write to a lot of persons from home. Stupid time-zone! :( Saturday afternoon I worked 3 hours so the “adults” could go see a movie. They were mistaken by time, and went to a pub/bar instead. Things were well, since it was nap time ;) we played a little and they got home. Day over.

Sunday I was chatting with Linea, about all and everything, she lost her voice so no talk-talk, just write-write. But it’s fine, I like our talks, it’s hard to be away from your best friend – that really stinks! But hopefully I’ll see her in July, and with this: Linea it’s week 7, the winter-vacation, you have plenty of time researching on the trip, flight tickets, what to see. Movies, mall, mountains, dinners are all mandatory. Let’s explore something else than Boulder ;) NYC,  San Francisco, all of CA, a day in D.C. ? Think! The internet wasn’t invented for nothing ;) Sorry couldn’t help myself :D

Well a lot more have happened, but right now this is just the rough sketch. So you have an idea what’s going on.

PS. Teegan is now using zippy-cup since bottle was nightmare. He have started to get a little up on his knees. Little Lightning McQueen have broken 3 times now (Jades toy) wonder if it just would be easier to buy new one. I got a phone – did I mention that last week? I can feel I’m gaining weight – which I do not understand. So exercise is needed. Still drinks lot’s of water, need sunglasses, and an extra 2 hours in the Sundays :D to blog in. Is addicted to the Danish series “lykke” and American “the bachelor” thank you internet streaming. 

Week 3

Monday wasn’t the best day at all. I felt really down, and Jade kind of made a lot of drama too. So that wasn’t the best day at all.

Tuesday, I kind of feared. Erin needed to go to the new house very early since the movers brought over the furniture and boxes. So I needed to follow Jade to school that morning. And after Monday, I really feared it. The first thing she said to me was whining “I don’t want you to follow me to school!” great start. It ended out in Erin left with Teegan and Sam and I followed her to school. Then I had a little time of since there was no kids around, did a little laundry. Then I picked up Jade and she behaved so well for the rest of the day. It was like she figured that Mom wasn’t around and she had me all by herself. So she had all the attention and loved it. So really good experience.

Wednesday a good day again. Jade have kind of figured from yesterday that I’m okay. And we didn’t have any bigger issues. She seeked Mommy, but not as much as all the other days.

Thursday I had Jade from around 8.20, no parents around – all good. Followed her to school – all good. Home, ate breakfast, Teegan and Erin got back. I took him he fell asleep. Then it was time to pick up Jade, Erin came along. But didn’t get into the room before Jade had greeted me. Which was really nice, because she actually gave me a big smile and wanted to hold my hand. And then I told her that I had brought Mommy.

I should have meet Silvia my CC Thursday evening and then we should go to Pueblo Friday. But there was heavy snow coming in. And we didn’t dare to drive down in too much snow. So suddenly we decided to go down Thursday, fast as possible. And then we remembered: meeting with Silvia. Got on Erin’s phone and call her to cancel, and take the meeting someday next week. And then within 1-1½ hour we had had lunch, packed and on our way to pick up Sam on the way.

We were lucky, we didn’t meet snow before “The Springs” so we got out in good time, before the snow getting to close to Boulder. It’s weird leaving Boulder with sun and then get to Pueblo, snow and 32 fahrenheit. So I’m glad we got out so fast.

Friday I was off most of the day, since I babysat in the evening, so Erin and Sam could get some time off to go to the Chocolate event. I was so glad I could finally sleep in late, not worrying when the alarm would ring. I woke up and it was so bright, I thought it was around 9am or so. But no no. It was only 7.30! I choose to turn to my other side and sleep again. But my body was all awake and ready to get up. So no more sleep for me. I spend the most of the day on my computer, talking to different people, finding accomendation in Florida for 6 girls in March. I really hope we are going to find something. I think we are a little late, to find cheap and good places. But I really miss the girls and a weekend fri-mon in Florida just sounds fantastic! Though it’s so annoying that I’m not able to get served alcohol or get in to the many of the clubs. Everything I got when I was 18 in Denmark. Is now taking away from me until June 18^th!

But anyway I’m going how can you not go when the 4 B’s are involved?! (Beach, Bikini, Boys, Booze!) plus the New-York-Gang!

The babysitting was kind of a challenge. Teegan had a k-5 and after 20 minutes of screaming, crying I called Erin so she could come home to comfort him. In the time between the call and Erin showing up, Teegan cried himself to sleep – poor little guy. Mom came, took Teeg nursed him a little and then she brought him along to the event. Jade and I ate tomato soup and grilled cheese sandwich. And then we watched Cars 2.

Saturday Very relaxing day. Got up when I woke, we had pancakes for breakfast. We packed and went to something called Eagle day. We saw a lot of eagles, some other animals, it was fine. Not my favorite thing to do. To crowded. View was great. I like the mountain state. On our way back to the house I drived for the first time. Ehm it went okay. Missed a stop sign (wups) and was told that I stop very close to the cars. In Copenhagen I’m told that I need to stop closer to everyone. Interesting. Also the car was automatic, not something I’m used to at all. So my left food kept pressing against a clutch which wasn’t there everytime I thought it was “time” to change gear. (which wasn’t there) at least my hands were on the wheel. Even though it felt wrong. I’ll get used to it. No one died and we got to Mimi and PJ’s house safely. Then it was back to Boulder.

On our way home, we had a few stop, we needed to check out some used furniture place – like “det blå pakhus” in Denmark. A very huge place where everything is sold second-hand very cheap and the money and some of all the stuff goes to charity.

Then we needed to go to a AT&T store to get me a phonenumber. As in Denmark those kind of sellers are totally annoying. Same thing not answering the questions and tries to “trick” you. Danish system with internet-stores – so much easier and comfortable.

Sunday relaxing again, still trying to figure out my phone. I think I got a hold of it now. But still a lot of practice. Family went to the new house. I stayed home. Talked with a lot of people. And a very good friend sent me a song, which I have been searching for months, that made my week. Then I went out for a walk in all the snow.  1½ hour in the snow and ice. 3,553 miles or 5,718 kilometers. A nice Sunday walk with camera in hand and Rasmus Seebach in my ears.

Home, blogging and writing secrets.

Week 2

Well another week is over. And it has been a good week. Starting to get “normal” – so that is nice.

Monday was a good day, Tuesday Jade started pre-school and she seemed to like it very much. Then we went over to the new house. Jade picked another room than last time they saw the house. I picked what they thought should be Erins office. So that was fun.

In the evening I got picked up by Stephanie a Danish au pair in the area. I hadn’t seen the town, so we drove through the hills (the place where all the students live) and then down to Pearl Street Mall, where we got dessert at the “Boulder Café” we talked for around an hour and she drove me back home. Very sweet girl, it was a bit weird to talk Danish, but still nice.

Wednesday I had a fantastic morning with Jade. She had a bath before she had to go to the doctor for a check out. So while they were at the doctor I had a little break where I went for a walk with Thira our dog. When they got back hell broke loose twice, but eventually I got her down to nap. Not the best way to do it, but I got her down. After her nap everything was fine we had fun playing.

Thursday was a normal day too where Jade again went to pre school. Friday day was normal and in the evening we got guests over. Jill and Jason along with their son Thomas. They are down here to see the city, since they are thinking about to move here. It was nice to have some company and it was a good dinner.

Saturday morning we got up early, sat in the car and drove down to Pueblo. Mimi needs some more help with the Chocolate which only is one week away. So we spend many hours down there and almost finished the job. So that was amazing to see. And again I feel fantastic to do such thing. In the evening we had Hamburgers and it tasted fantastic.

Sunday I woke up by myself, when I got up I found out that Denmark was playing the final in the European handball championship. I got SO exited and tripped around the floor, nervously. But we WON!! So I’m so proud to be a Dane. Then I finally reached Linea, so we skyped for 30-45 minutes. SO nice to finally talk to her. Though I think I talked the most. Her webcam didn’t work. So she have a job to get done before next time. Then we went to Pueblo Zoo, a nice little zoo. After that we went back home.

So a good week with more bonding and less screaming. But it’s all still very new to me. But I like it so far. Look forward finding a map and get a bike to get around. I start to feel home, and I think it gets much better when we get into the new house. So I can get more settled with my stuff. So, I managed to keep it short. Proud of my self.

Week 1

Here we go Ladies and Gentlemen, it’s now time to get your coffee, tea or snack. Go to the restromm. In a minute a 3500-words post about my first week as an au pair will begin. Here in the beginning there is so many things to write about. Along the way, the posts (hopefully for every one) will get smaller. Sometimes I might even forget to write – but I will do it as good as I can. Are you ready?

Monday:

First day of work. A bit nervous, but I think that’s quite normal. I’m also really glad that Erin is working from home, so she is near.

Went to the park/playground with Jade, we climbed and slide a lot. She “locked me up” in a cage which actually just where a place between a fence and a soccer-net. But we had fun. After 1 hour she got a melt-down, she was cold, I was new, mommy wasn’t there. So her world fell a bit apart at the time. At the same time she told me she wanted hot chocolate, and I told her no, because I didn’t knew if she could get it. And then she screamed even more. After like 5-10 minutes of screaming, kicking, whining, trying to run away (there is a road with cars very, very near! So I was quite nervous when she started running) I eventually got her calmed down. I told her that we could go back to the house and then she started whining. So we sat down again, started over with the screaming and kicking, but not for that long. Because I figured out a way to deal with her, and I think that she understood that I wouldn’t give up, or let her run. So we figured the problem and found a solution. I carried her home - she was cold, and probably a bit tired of running round all the time. So we went home (2 minutes walk, maximum), and I learned how to make “hot chocolate” in the “right” way. I just needed to clear it with Erin first.

That is actually one of my biggest fears, it’s to do something wrong. I know people makes mistake, but I want to do as little as possible. And eventually we sorted out the problem, and next time we are out and she gets cold and asks for chocolate I can say “yes” because now I know it’s okay.

Well, Teegan had an off-day. It didn’t help his mood that I tried to bottle feed him. But we have to try. I put Jade into quiet-time (nap) and then I took over Teegan, at first he really didn’t want to sleep and it took so long time with crying, before he finally gave up or just gave in. he went to sleep and slept on my shoulder. Then it was time to challenge myself. The famous bottle that he do not like to take. But he did in his sleep! I was so happy. So it turned out to be a great day! Except that I had a huge headache all day long. It’s very, very rare that I have had that kind of headache. Where the pain usually is booming  this one is pain all the time, nonstop. So at 5.30pm I went to lay down, fell asleep, then I missed dinner. But at 10pm I woke up, wasn’t really hungry, so I went back to sleep and slept for at least 8 hours more = 12 hours of sleep

Tuesday

Today I got up after over 12 hours of sleep. Then I turned on my computer and did the usual routine facebook-mail-news. We ate Oatmeal – the Danish way. Oats, raisins and milk – all cold! Erin, Sam and Jade went to check a preschool, so I was home alone with Teegan. I managed to get him to sleep for about an hour, he didn’t want to take a bottle with ricemilk so he got pretty upset. Erin came home 10-15 minutes after and then he could something to eat. Then we played, I had Teegan some of the time. We ate lunch, putted Jade to nap, it took longer today than yesterday. But it was fine. Then I got Teegan, he was already asleep so It was just a nice relaxing time. I lay with him on my chest and shoulder while I was in the couch reading. He woke up once in a while complaining as babies do. But he got 2 good hours of sleep. Then Jade woke, we had snack, went outside – it was freezing cold and we have had snow.  Then we ate and I went to my room talking with some other au pairs in my area from a list Euraupair gave me. Though many of them lives far away, and 1 of the girls are moving tomorrow because of a sad re-match who no one could prevent. So we are actually only me and a girl near by left from the agency. But she knows other au pairs from other agencies . including another Danish girl. But she would like to meet, so we just need to find a day.

Wednesday

Mostly a pretty good day. Jade and I played with play dough, played with ballons and played with her favorite toy in the moment: Lightning McQueen. Then we took a early lunch and went outside to play in the backyard. Then it we went in to get a small snack before naptime. The “schedule” was pushed a little, and I had some problems getting her to nap. Well she napped for 45 minutes and then we were off to danceclass. She got a meltdown and so we went home. Teegan was all happy-baby today, so that was really nice. Dinner was really late and ended up being breakfast-kind-of-dinner but it tasted really good!

It’s really windy this evening and will continue tomorrow too. A good day, with a not-so-great afternoon. But I’m good :) 

Thursday

Erin, Sam and Jade went out to see another preschool in the morning. So I was home with Teegan. Everything was fine, He went to sleep, I gave him a bottle, he ate a bit of it and I cut his fingernails. They are seriously sharp! So now we can relax for another week, without been thorned a part ;) Jade came home and we went outside in the nice weather. It felled like spring, The sun was shining and was warm, the birds were tweeting and the smell was so spring-ish. Really liked that. We played around for an hour, playing with a stuffed puppy, who was a flying, skiing jungle-pup. Yep:  flying, skiing jungle pup - fun game. We played hide and seek with sticks. (sticks was  suppose to find each other) then we played a little with Thira and did the flying jungle pup thing again. We also talked about the sun and the ice left in the backyard. We went in played with some train tracks, had lunch, nap (which went very good today only half hour, all included) then I had Teegan. Who must have had bad dreams, he woke up crying with his eyes closed like he slept. And only Erin could get him to settle down. The third time he did it he woke up from his own “screaming” poor little guy :( well in the afternoon Erin and Jade made pumpkin bread and I just hang around and watched Teegan. Then we had dinner, pumpkin bread very good (tasted like sister/spicey cake in Denmark) then I hang around a bit and went to get a shower and then into my room.

I listen to a lot of “Rasmus Seebach” numbers. Danish Music is good music, and his lyrics just make it all easy. I love all his songs, they just make sense. Especially: ”Vover på at gå” (you dare to leave), ”Nangijala” (Nangijala), ”under Stjernerne på himlen” (under the stars in the sky), ”sig jeg skal” (say I have too),” Igen i dag” (again today)  and ”Glad igen” (happy again) Makes so much sense to me. Many of them are just the typical love-songs. But “sig jeg skal” and “glad igen” means a lot to me. It keeps my mind on the track: I need to do this, I need some fun, new adventure, life-long-learning, I need to find myself and find my way in life. I need the challenge and all of that is possible for me to do if I catch the chance.

Tomorrow we are leaving for Pueblo. Down to Erin’s Mom (mimi) and PJ.

One final song: New Tomorrow by A friend in London. “come on boys, come on girls in this crazy, crazy world - you're the diamonds, you're the pearls - let's make a new tomorrow - come on girls, come on boys - it's you're future it's your choice - and your weapon is your voice - let's make a new tomorrow, today. “ Goodnight all.

Friday

A wonderful day. Everything have sort of being pushed today. We didn’t eat breakfast before 9.30am which was fine. We were going down to Pueblo in the early afternoon (2 hour drive) So first we made sure to tidy everything before we left, since we also had a cleaning lady coming over to clean the house. And then it was breakfast time. Today was the best weather, even better than yesterday. So nice weather, the sun was really warming it all up, amazing. Jade and I went out to the backyard to play while Erin could work, house was clean and just to enjoy the nice weather. Todays major thing to play was birds. There is a small bird-bath in the garden, there was a little bit of ice left in the yard, so we took it over to the bath and let I melt to the birds. Then we “flew” around as birds tweeting out loud, and then we began making a nest. So we spend over an hour collecting sticks and leaves for the nest. Which in the end actually got really cool! While we “flew” around and tweeted a woodpecker started to call back. Every single time we called “tweet tweet” it responded to us. So that was really fun for both of us. We went in to the house had lunch and then we played around. Jade helped the cleaning lady, and she was really into all the spraying and drying it off again. It was so sweet. Well Sam got home from work and we took off. 2 hours drive, roadwork! And everyone in Denmark defiantly knows what that means: queue! Well we got here, and both PJ and Mimi are really warm and welcoming people (not because I doubted it at all, they are social people) we went out for dinner on a Mexican restaurant. Though funny enough I didn’t order any Mexican food. I got some breaded chicken with fries. (Very healthy ;) ) we got home and hang around a little, try giving a bottle, reading in the aupair/hostfamily handbooks and then I went down to my room. I’ll explain more about the sizes I’m now realizing tomorrow. Right now, I’m so tired. Listening to Rasmus Seebach and A friend in London – as my goodnight music

Saturday

Well as promised about the sizes I’m realizing. Holy cow this is a big country! And I only had a 2 hour drive down to Pueblo! One thing is what you see on the maps. Yes you can see the difference on the maps, but that’s just a map. We went through the desert of CO, and it just went on and on and on. I have done my math and Denmark can fit into the State of Colorado 6,4 times! So the deserts just continued out in everything. To do it in a much bigger perspective then Denmark can fit into the United States of America 228 times! (according to Wikipedia)

Also houses, the Temp house and the new house are like normal sizes houses – which is great for me, I can cope with that, I come from a small house. Then we got to Pueblo. And Mimi and PJ is having the “American dream” house. Gigantic in my eyes. There is a whole if not 2 flats in the basement, where I sleep. It got everything! bedroom, bathroom, gym-room, 2-3 other smaller rooms, a large room with couches, gigantic beanbag, pool table, office, kitchen, golf-putting place. It’s really huge! And that’s just the basement floor. Then we have one more floor, with kitchen, dining /TV-area, master bedroom, guestroom etc. So this is like a really American houses . looks like in the movies!

So that is quite fun to be in and to see the big wide-open spaces.

Well the Saturday was in the sign of charity. Not something you do much of in Denmark. We do charity shows for fundraising and we beam doors to get money. Today I helped wrapping, bowing and gathering baskets for the YWCA, Pueblo. Who will make an online auction where all these baskets can be bid on - to raise money. On February 3^rd they will do their yearly chocolate indulgence. You can read about the event here: http://www.ywcapueblo.com/wordpress/?page_id=7 and about YWCA here: http://www.ywcapueblo.com/wordpress/  .  We got into this building and in the first room, I was like: that wasn’t much. But then we continues into the next room, and there was SO many things. Sorted out in categories on tables. There were stuff everywhere, ribbons, plastic-wrapping paper, a computer to type information about every single basket in. it was crazy. And this was probably just a “little” place to do such stuff. So I was amazed and I found that I really like this kind of charity work. I rather do the practical and physical work than beaming doors or call people and try to get them raise money over the phone. So I really enjoyed to give a helping hand. Hopefully I will be able to do more charity work while I’m in the US.

After the charity work we meet with the boys and Jade and had lunch. And then we dropped by a Wisconsin cheese store (Sam is from Wisconsin) and then home so Jade could get her nap.

Sam talked to the insurance company, so I think I’m able to drive now. I just need to try drive with one of them next to me, the first few times, especially if the kids are in the car. I’m not used to automatic gear or aware of all their driving laws. You can turn right even though the light is red! And left if it’s a one way street! But I need to get used to the roads, they are bigger, more lanes and then I need to learn my way around. But I will get used to it :)

Then we just stayed at the house until dinner, I typed in my blog, we watch the election of the republicans candidate, I heard one guy, this Rick Santorum, who is (in my eyes) too religious. He got 3 statements, jobs – education – and that people should be married before babies. He’s one of those persons most au pairs DON’T want to work for. It’s way to much. Welcome to the 21-century Mister, making the next generation believe in faith – will not happen. Get over it!  And then dinner was up. After dinner Jade actually wanted to play with me. She have been (in my eyes) a bit hostile to me, so I have been like enemy no. 1 to her. Everyone else have been better than me. But she is 3½ year old. And she is going through a lot of stuff in the moment. They moved 3 weeks ago, all of her friends is now “gone” in her eyes, it’s a new house, which is not ours since it’s a temp. house. Hopefully we will soon get in to the new house. So she will be able to have their own furnitures so it feels more like home. Then she have also “lost” her Nanny Kristin who she’ve had for 2 years. And then I’m all new. I’m not Kristin and I’m not doing the things like Kristin did. So we have our up-times and down-times. So I try to take as much of the quality-time she is allowing me in the moment. And we play well together. I just need to get used to only have to focus on 1½ child. I’m used to 12 in my nursery group, plus practical stuff, plus parents and plus the other children from the other groups. So only focusing on 1½ child is actually hard (even though most people will say: oh that’s easy – it’s not!) During our hide-and-seek / dance the “hop, hop, hoping around like the silly rabbit-clown” I managed to stretch a muscle in my lower leg. Hopefully it will be over soon.

Then all of us except PJ went for a short stroll with Thira. It was mild weather even though the sun was down. I could really get used to it. Though the weather is said to change SO amazingly fast. I really look forward to experience my first thunderstorm. In July I have been told that it’s common everyday – at least in Pueblo. I don’t like the sound, but love to watch lightning.

Now going to bed, with good memories from the day.

Sunday

Today, we had our last day in Pueblo for this weekend. We went to a park, which was pretty cool. We was there for around 1½-2 hours. I love playgrounds!

After the park we went back home to Mimi and PJ’s house. There is a football match between New England Patriots and Baltimore Ravens. We cheered for Patriots. While the game was on we ate lunch/snack. Cheese and crackers. For those who knows me really well will think I just ate the crackers. But I was very brave and tried the cheeses. And I actually liked some of them!

I think it’s important to take the chance to change your life, while you got the chance. My year in the US will give me a fresh start – a clean cut. All I have ever been or done have made “me” – but I’m young (I know it sounds so cliché) But it’s true. I get to start over, try all the things I have never dared or just haven’t done. I have never liked cheese, only if it was cooked into my warm dinner. Today I took the chance and tried cheese and crackers. It might be simple cheeses – but it was cheese on crackers. And every time I try something new, I get proud that I can get out of my comfort zone and do something new.

I have taken a decision to change my life, I will still be me, I will just have some changes. Every day we learn something new and we change automatically. So will I. So I’m proud, especially when it comes to food. I try, and if I don’t like it, then I at least know for sure, instead of letting my comfort zone stop me.

Well after lunch we headed towards home. We went by IKEA to get some licorice in the food shop. And believe it or not, they didn’t have it! I know they have it in other IKEAs so I was choked. Well we got back to the road and drove to the Worldmarket in Boulder. They had some Haribo licorice, not the salty, strong stuff like we have in Denmark. So Mommy I will sent you an e-mail with the licorice I would like, and if you would be so kind to sent it, I would be the happiest daughter ever!

Besides that I had a great day with Jade, we played together and at dinner time back home in Boulder. She actually came to the decision that I was no longer a stranger and that she is starting to get used to me (I don’t remember if those are the exact words, but  I think and hope that was what she told me) So That’s very good.

Well, a new week again tomorrow. Jade will start Pre-school Tuesday, it will be good for her to play with some peers. And start a “normal” rhythm. It’ll be good for her.

Goodnight.