Off-day

I know I haven’t posted anything for about month now. But seriously – you would get so depressed if you read my thoughts. No need for that.

The fact is that I’m starting to get very frustrated. I don’t have a family, should have left Denmark October 10. – That’s not going to happen. I read other au pairs blogs – and I’m now starting to get very jealous. I want what they have. I don’t understand why I’m not going. I don’t understand what’s wrong with me – since there is no family calling. Why doesn’t they like me, I should be easy to like.

I’m starting to think that I should just let it go – Then it’s just not meant to be. But I want it so bad, I almost had it. I should have started thinking about packing all my stuff down by now – but hey I’m not going, no need to pack. Trying to figure out how to get picked by a family. Maybe I should start all over on my application, and dear family letter. New pictures, more laid back letter. Anything!

Well this ended up being very negative. And I’m still jealous. 

Some days are better than others. Lets just say that today I have an off-day

My Family canceled – now I need to find a new one

 My Family had to cancel because of an unpredictable situation. And I’m starting to realize that I need to get back up on that horse and move on. (Not supposed to sound like, I just want to forget that family – because I won’t.) I wrote an email to MyEducation (Denmark) and told them my situation. They were of course very kind and told me that no one could have predicted it would happen. And that it was a sad, sad situation for the family. I of course agree. Then I was told that there was still possibility to go in October/November. And both MyEducation and EurAupair (America) thought my application was very good. So my hope is back up, just a little wounded.

I checked my emails (I safe all email exchange when it comes to the aupair project) Last time, from when I was accepted and got up online in the system until the family contacted me there went 13 days. So if my math still works out, then theoretically I would have had first contact at September 3. And yes I do know that you can’t count on that. The family can contact you from the moment I get up online and until you get a new family or you regret and get pulled out of the program. So if I’m very unlucky I could get a call in January. If I’m lucky (which I hope I am) then they could call me any minute.

I just hope to find a nice, understanding, sweet family who will let me into their family and let me be a part of their family. But it’s still a bit difficult to think of a “new” family, when the “old” family is still in my mind. I had already prepared my self – on departure and living as a part of this family. And because of a terrible and sad coincident – then I’m not going to live with them. It’s hard to understand but I have to realize it. Now I just have to find a lot of patience. AGAIN! I thought it was nerve racking last time. But that was just peanuts. This time it’s nerve racking. You have little time, no family and a burning wish to go. I just hope that ONE family will read my application and think “wow that’s the one. She will fit perfectly” or just a little thought saying “This girl we have to get to know better she could be the one for our family” And I hope that the family who contact me will be the next family I can see myself in. The family who will take me in as a part of them and the family I will spend my year with.

I just don’t dare to put my hopes up high. And feel safe when I have a family next time.  I had my flight plans, had received my information folders and book. Not before I’m in my new home, in my new bed, where my new family sleeps on the other site of the wall. Not before then - I will feel safe to say: I have a new family.

Well continues to a whole different issue. My website. I actually have forgotten and neglected my homepage ever since I made the final adjustments. I just don’t know what my next project will be about… I need to figure that one out.

As you all know. I’m on vacation on Tenerife and have a great time with my brother. We have mostly just been relaxing at the poolside, playing cards, reading books, playing monopoly and Yatzy. But we have also had the time to go get massage and had some loooong walks. (Almost 10km in the longest) We talk a lot about everything and nothing. Real quality time. I will put up some photos so you can see for yourself.

At Thursday we will go to the volcano Teide. I hope there is a great weather – so I can get some really nice shots. And Friday we will go to Loro Park. A giant Animal park with over 1000 different animal species included with the killer whales and dolphins! I can’t wait to go! 

Well thanks for reading once again

Broken

So much have happened. In these minutes, I’m lying in my hotel room on Tenerife.

You all know that I matched with the greatest family and was really looking forward joining them. Tuesday (august 16.) I received my travel plans. All my flights listed with times and everything. The only thing I actually needed was my visa and the tickets and then I was ready to go. My parents bought me this beautiful suitcase, I bought a bag pack myself which I would have brought with me on the plane. I had Skyped with my family and the kids knew I was coming. And then it all broke.

The family I was going to stay with had to cancel my stay. And they were very sorry. I understand why and truly sent all good and healthy thought towards them. I hope everyone will get better!

But I also have to admit that I’m broken. One minute I was happy – on vacation with my brother and the next minute I’m broken. I don’t understand – everything seemed so great. It happened so fast. The agency called me earlier. But my phone was locked inside the safe, while I was relaxing down by the pool. I don’t know if that was the thing they wanted to contact me about. But it is Friday, it’s weekend and I won’t have a clue what to do before Monday.

Everyone will say: You’ll just find another family. 

But only ONE family contacted me and wanted me.

 I have no job from October 1.  

I’m on vacation and so far away from the agency.

There are only 2 departures left in this year

I want to go before Christmas

What are the odds?

My mind is so twisted right now, I have cried since I got the news. I truly feel with the family in San Diego. I have so many feelings in my system, and I can’t think straight. I just know that I don’t want to celebrate Christmas at home, without my brother and that I’m about to flood the hotel. 

Placement, Study, Countdown, Skype, Vacation

Placement papers and books

Well, well, well. Placement papers arrived Wednesday along with a book called “Dear babysitter handbook”, Euraupairs au pair guide, brochure about the program, a “what to know” brochure and a printed version of host family profile.  

“Dear babysitter handbook” is a good tool, you have pages where you are supposed to write all information about contact persons, children’s ages – diseases  etc., Doctor and hospital numbers, emergency numbers, CPR, how to give medicin, housrules, basicly everything! But it also goes trough all ages from 0-12, with behaviour, tips and what to do.  

The idea is very good, and I think I will use  the pages with emergency numbers, contact information etc.  But personally I knew everything about the childrens ages. But I also have the experience with me. I know not to shake a baby, I know 3-5 year olds is testing and want to be independent. So I actually only need to read and remember what to do when different injuries comes up and when the child gets ill. It’s always good to refresh your memory. :)

The euraupair au pair guide and the two brochures is good to have, but was no news to me – I’m a person who check out what I’m signing up for. And did this research in December, January and Febuary. But I will read it once again and keep it. So if I suddenly forget what I’m up for, then I check ;)

The Host Family profile, is just a lot of information I already had but I also got the names of the different coordinators, the three closest colleges/universities.

Study

When I already have mentioned the study places I can continue with my so far research.  I have looked up the three places. And I have really worked hard to find out which courses they can offer me.  And I have to remember that I need 6 units to complete my program.

San Diego Mesa College:  It was very easy to find out what to search for. Future students à programs & courses. Then you can easily clich on the subjects, and read about specific courses and how many units.

Grossmont college: also easy to find. Apply and enrol à catalog à part five. The only thing is that my  computer only have manage to download ¼ of the catalog. But units is also shown. Very simple.

SDSU: This site is driving me nuts! It is so hard to find what I need. Such a long way when you don’t know what to look for! Well I hope I have found it, but can’t see the units and hope that minors is the same as courses.

I’m glad I don’t have to decide right away. Thinking about a lot of subjects to study I have thought about: Dance, Marketing, Communication, Spanish, German, business, all different kinds of arts and nutrition. But I’m waiting to the catalogs from 2012 will show.  

Countdown – NY then CA

A strange feeling is starting to take place in my stomack. And the countdown has slowly started. NY workshop is going to be a real hard start. I will arrive in the states, for the first time, need to get to the hostel, will meet my “roomies” and we are probably all just so exited, exhausted and hyped that we will go find the nearest Starbucks and then go to bed and have very little sleep and BANG the show begin. 4 days of training - from early in the morning to late in the evening.  In something I with a big chance already know. But the agency gave me the advice that I have to be active in classes, so I don’t get to bored. But I’m sure it’s going to be fun when I first get started.

And then it’s probably a flight with destination San Diego. And then I will meet my new family and start my adventure. Can’t wait!

Skype

Tomorrow I will Skype with my new family. We have agreed to have a “Skype-date” in the weekends so we can keep in touch and get to know each other better before my arrival. The only thing is that I need to find some kind of internet when I’m in Tenerife. I just checked the hotel information, and it’s possible to get wireless internet – for a smaller amount. But I need to check the internet signal before setting up the next “Skype-date”  I would be nice to Skype even though I’m on vacation. Because I have found out that there ain’t long, before I go. With this coming weekend, 9 weekends before take of from Denmark – pretty scary

Vacation

Well as I mentioned I will go to Tenerife. I will leave with my brother Tuesday and have 2 weeks on a luxury hotel, wellness and spa, children free. We have ordered massage and breakfast.The reason for no children choice is that I work with small children every single day. And there is a lot of screaming and crying in a work day – Since it’s not all of them who have a speaking language. So It’s not because I don’t like children. I just know that when I’m going to have my own children, I won’t be able to do this kind of vacation if they have to come. Children are more than welcome, just not in my hotel and in my pool for 2 weeks :)

Our room will head towards the pool and I just look forward spending some quality time with my brother before I leave. He will also go to Kosovo but only for 2½ month. But still non of us is home for Christmas. But that is probably for the best. It would be much harder if only one of us were home, without the other sibling. But I also really look forward to see how a real American Christmas turn out. Is it like the movies or is it something very different. And will I spend Christmas with my family?? Well at lot of questions, but time will show :)

I hope to do a little update from Tenerife. If not – have a great summer! I will be back in the fall.(September)

Match - SO EXITED

So exited! I will leave in October. I have matched with first and only family who contacted me. We just seem to match very well. Single mom, twins – a boy and girl. Both of them very cute!

I’m thrilled, because like every single Au Pair – I was afraid not to be picked. And still feel kind of weird that only one family “liked” me. But I’m very glad that exactly that family chose to contact me. Haven’t regretted a bit.

It all began when the family contacted me and we e-mailed. Then they were told that I could arrive in August and my heart skipped many beats! So I had to tell them, that I wasn’t able to go in August, since I wouldn’t be able to put down my resignation in time to quit. Then I was asked if I could arrive in September, which I could in theory. But I thought about it, and I didn’t feel ready to leave in September. At the time then I would only have 2 weeks work left and then 3 weeks’ vacation. It would be great, but it didn’t feel right just to leave with such short notice. I feel bonded to all the kids in the nursery and many of them and my colleagues were on vacation, and then I wouldn’t be able to say goodbye. It would fell very very wrong. So I told them that I could come in October and if that didn’t work for them then they had to find another au pair. I felt soooo bad when I sent of that email. But needed to be honest and true to myself. And then I got my first emotional rollercoaster ride. I cried and I cried, I was so sad that I had to give this perfect family an ultimatum. Then I thought about a lot of people I care about, the goodbye’s – then I cried even more, then I thought about the poor family – then I cried again. In the end I shut down my computer and tucked myself in. And then I started crying all over again.

If anyone has a single doubt – Yes I can get VERY emotional, I was close to getting hysterical. But I managed to stop crying a few minutes before the sleep took over.

Then I had the warmest and caring email. That she had been without an au pair for a while and that she was able to manage until October. Then we Skyped. And when I shut down the computer I just knew!

I can’t describe how it feels, but I was so sure that this family was “THE” family. The family I wanted to stay with and live and work for. No doubts and the next emails just confirmed it. The agency has now been advised and I just need to know what the next step is.

October seems very far away but yet so close. One week left of work, three weeks’ vacation, 4 weeks work left before I stop. And I have about 28 hours that I need to take of before I quit, so it’s actually only 3 weeks left when you start taking 28 hours out of 4 weeks.Then 10 days until Departure. I’m so happy and relieved and is so exited to live with this family. They are so nice and I just can’t wait.

66 days to New York workshop

So exited I want to scream!

First Family Contact

I’ve been contacted by a family. I don’t want to tell names or too much information about members of the family, since I don’t have permission or agreed and signed contract. What I can tell is that the family lives in California, and that I have Skyped with them. And I’m really positive. They seem very nice and calm. Children were very sweet and acted just like siblings do.

A good advice, check out the time differences when you need to call/Skype with families. I have made my own converter in a word document. It shows me all hours around the clock and then what time it is in California. I live in Denmark and in “summertime” I’m 9 hours in front of California. So when it’s 9 am in Denmark, it’s midnight in California. So in the middle of the day where I live, the family is asleep. We Skyped when it was around 7.30 am in California and 4.30 pm in Denmark. It is actually the “best” time to do it. No one has to get up in the middle of the night, and both of us are on the same date, because we both have crossed midnight.

In weekends, I would be able to stay up later or even after midnight. Since I wouldn’t need to go to work.  But on workdays, I need my sleep. So I can have all the energy to do my job.  It’s just a good idea to find a time, where it fits both parts. – That’s why I use a converter in a word document. I can always see what time it is, at the possible destination.

I look forward to Skype again, both side have questions for each other. And then I’m just excited to get to know a whole new family :)

Today my dad and I went to the zoo, it was real good weather, wasn’t too much heat or too many clouds. Just perfect. Afterward we bought a sandwich on our way home, and headed for the beach. We sat down and ate while we were looking cross the water. Then we went home.

Is pretty exhausted today, had a morning opener at work yesterday morning - 6.30 am,  Then home, relaxing, Skyping and then I meet with some colleagues, one of them is starting on a new job Monday, so we had a nice and calm evening with a few drinks – not much. But it was a nice evening. Got home at few minutes past midnight. But it was a looong day.

So after wandering around in the zoo and at the beach – I could really use a nap.  Just 20-30 minutes so I can keep myself awake tonight.

But a few nice days :) Good start in the weekend.

So many thoughts

So many thoughts in my head! So much have happened the last couples of days.

Everyone has already heard about the tragedy in Norway. All my thoughts go to the victims, their family, friends and just the Norwegian population. A Special thought goes to Michelle, a Norwegian/Danish girl I meet and spend three weeks with in our language school in Brighton 2007. I hope and pray that you’re alright! Also to an old school friend of mine, Her mother is Norwegian, I hope she’s going to make it through, Home must be real far away when something like this is happening.

So many young people have lost their life’s. And I can’t find one good reason! I don’t understand why the defendant needed to do this. They were so young, so innocent, having fun, having their own political meaning. Why is that so wrong?!

I don’t see the meaning of this life, when something like this happens. Because it shouldn’t happen! Why is it that we can’t live side by side in peace? I don’t care about color, social status, religion or lifestyle.  I respect differences and respect democracy!

I do fear the day it will happen in Denmark. And some people say: but I won’t! But I believe it will, so many times we have seen it getting so close. The police and PET have been able to stop it, before it actually happens. But someday they won’t be fast enough, even though they are really, really good at their jobs, some day they will miss something. And it will happen. I don’t know when or where, I know which areas in Copenhagen are very busy, filled up with people every day. So does the police. Unfortunately I can’t prevent it. Though I really want to. I have to trust the police and their work. I don’t know when it’s going to happen, and I’m kind of glad I don’t. I can fear it, but it will never make me live differently. Yes I fear it, but I will never let the people who do this win.

I also fear a lot, if something is going to happen, when I’m in the states. What if something happens to my family or friends, back home in Denmark. I won’t be there, to support and help. I will sit helplessly, on the other side of the planet. Getting the updates to late because of time differences.

I’m afraid of school shootings. School shooting have been a subject in my English classes three years in a row. I have seen “bowling from Columbine” at least 4 times. I have read about Virginia tech many times to. It’s so unfair! You can not excuse these people from doing it. I’m going to study in America, and I am still going to America as an au pair. When I’m there, I probably don’t think about it. But in times like this I do.

Everything comes with a risk. The airplane can crash, you can be hit by a car, and you can fall down the stairs and die. If we had to live risk-free then we shouldn’t live. We couldn’t, we just have to go on with our lives. Here in Denmark, Norway, America, Japan, Australia, Afghanistan, Russia, all over the world. We cannot live without risk. We have to do our best every day, and take one step at a time. Things like the tragedy in Norway shocks us, but we have to live!

And then a happy thing: A big goodbye to Rikke, another blogger www.rikkesimone.com . Who is leaving today to become an au pair in New Zealand. Can’t wait to hear about your journey!