Broken

So much have happened. In these minutes, I’m lying in my hotel room on Tenerife.

You all know that I matched with the greatest family and was really looking forward joining them. Tuesday (august 16.) I received my travel plans. All my flights listed with times and everything. The only thing I actually needed was my visa and the tickets and then I was ready to go. My parents bought me this beautiful suitcase, I bought a bag pack myself which I would have brought with me on the plane. I had Skyped with my family and the kids knew I was coming. And then it all broke.

The family I was going to stay with had to cancel my stay. And they were very sorry. I understand why and truly sent all good and healthy thought towards them. I hope everyone will get better!

But I also have to admit that I’m broken. One minute I was happy – on vacation with my brother and the next minute I’m broken. I don’t understand – everything seemed so great. It happened so fast. The agency called me earlier. But my phone was locked inside the safe, while I was relaxing down by the pool. I don’t know if that was the thing they wanted to contact me about. But it is Friday, it’s weekend and I won’t have a clue what to do before Monday.

Everyone will say: You’ll just find another family. 

But only ONE family contacted me and wanted me.

 I have no job from October 1.  

I’m on vacation and so far away from the agency.

There are only 2 departures left in this year

I want to go before Christmas

What are the odds?

My mind is so twisted right now, I have cried since I got the news. I truly feel with the family in San Diego. I have so many feelings in my system, and I can’t think straight. I just know that I don’t want to celebrate Christmas at home, without my brother and that I’m about to flood the hotel. 

Placement, Study, Countdown, Skype, Vacation

Placement papers and books

Well, well, well. Placement papers arrived Wednesday along with a book called “Dear babysitter handbook”, Euraupairs au pair guide, brochure about the program, a “what to know” brochure and a printed version of host family profile.  

“Dear babysitter handbook” is a good tool, you have pages where you are supposed to write all information about contact persons, children’s ages – diseases  etc., Doctor and hospital numbers, emergency numbers, CPR, how to give medicin, housrules, basicly everything! But it also goes trough all ages from 0-12, with behaviour, tips and what to do.  

The idea is very good, and I think I will use  the pages with emergency numbers, contact information etc.  But personally I knew everything about the childrens ages. But I also have the experience with me. I know not to shake a baby, I know 3-5 year olds is testing and want to be independent. So I actually only need to read and remember what to do when different injuries comes up and when the child gets ill. It’s always good to refresh your memory. :)

The euraupair au pair guide and the two brochures is good to have, but was no news to me – I’m a person who check out what I’m signing up for. And did this research in December, January and Febuary. But I will read it once again and keep it. So if I suddenly forget what I’m up for, then I check ;)

The Host Family profile, is just a lot of information I already had but I also got the names of the different coordinators, the three closest colleges/universities.

Study

When I already have mentioned the study places I can continue with my so far research.  I have looked up the three places. And I have really worked hard to find out which courses they can offer me.  And I have to remember that I need 6 units to complete my program.

San Diego Mesa College:  It was very easy to find out what to search for. Future students à programs & courses. Then you can easily clich on the subjects, and read about specific courses and how many units.

Grossmont college: also easy to find. Apply and enrol à catalog à part five. The only thing is that my  computer only have manage to download ¼ of the catalog. But units is also shown. Very simple.

SDSU: This site is driving me nuts! It is so hard to find what I need. Such a long way when you don’t know what to look for! Well I hope I have found it, but can’t see the units and hope that minors is the same as courses.

I’m glad I don’t have to decide right away. Thinking about a lot of subjects to study I have thought about: Dance, Marketing, Communication, Spanish, German, business, all different kinds of arts and nutrition. But I’m waiting to the catalogs from 2012 will show.  

Countdown – NY then CA

A strange feeling is starting to take place in my stomack. And the countdown has slowly started. NY workshop is going to be a real hard start. I will arrive in the states, for the first time, need to get to the hostel, will meet my “roomies” and we are probably all just so exited, exhausted and hyped that we will go find the nearest Starbucks and then go to bed and have very little sleep and BANG the show begin. 4 days of training - from early in the morning to late in the evening.  In something I with a big chance already know. But the agency gave me the advice that I have to be active in classes, so I don’t get to bored. But I’m sure it’s going to be fun when I first get started.

And then it’s probably a flight with destination San Diego. And then I will meet my new family and start my adventure. Can’t wait!

Skype

Tomorrow I will Skype with my new family. We have agreed to have a “Skype-date” in the weekends so we can keep in touch and get to know each other better before my arrival. The only thing is that I need to find some kind of internet when I’m in Tenerife. I just checked the hotel information, and it’s possible to get wireless internet – for a smaller amount. But I need to check the internet signal before setting up the next “Skype-date”  I would be nice to Skype even though I’m on vacation. Because I have found out that there ain’t long, before I go. With this coming weekend, 9 weekends before take of from Denmark – pretty scary

Vacation

Well as I mentioned I will go to Tenerife. I will leave with my brother Tuesday and have 2 weeks on a luxury hotel, wellness and spa, children free. We have ordered massage and breakfast.The reason for no children choice is that I work with small children every single day. And there is a lot of screaming and crying in a work day – Since it’s not all of them who have a speaking language. So It’s not because I don’t like children. I just know that when I’m going to have my own children, I won’t be able to do this kind of vacation if they have to come. Children are more than welcome, just not in my hotel and in my pool for 2 weeks :)

Our room will head towards the pool and I just look forward spending some quality time with my brother before I leave. He will also go to Kosovo but only for 2½ month. But still non of us is home for Christmas. But that is probably for the best. It would be much harder if only one of us were home, without the other sibling. But I also really look forward to see how a real American Christmas turn out. Is it like the movies or is it something very different. And will I spend Christmas with my family?? Well at lot of questions, but time will show :)

I hope to do a little update from Tenerife. If not – have a great summer! I will be back in the fall.(September)

Match - SO EXITED

So exited! I will leave in October. I have matched with first and only family who contacted me. We just seem to match very well. Single mom, twins – a boy and girl. Both of them very cute!

I’m thrilled, because like every single Au Pair – I was afraid not to be picked. And still feel kind of weird that only one family “liked” me. But I’m very glad that exactly that family chose to contact me. Haven’t regretted a bit.

It all began when the family contacted me and we e-mailed. Then they were told that I could arrive in August and my heart skipped many beats! So I had to tell them, that I wasn’t able to go in August, since I wouldn’t be able to put down my resignation in time to quit. Then I was asked if I could arrive in September, which I could in theory. But I thought about it, and I didn’t feel ready to leave in September. At the time then I would only have 2 weeks work left and then 3 weeks’ vacation. It would be great, but it didn’t feel right just to leave with such short notice. I feel bonded to all the kids in the nursery and many of them and my colleagues were on vacation, and then I wouldn’t be able to say goodbye. It would fell very very wrong. So I told them that I could come in October and if that didn’t work for them then they had to find another au pair. I felt soooo bad when I sent of that email. But needed to be honest and true to myself. And then I got my first emotional rollercoaster ride. I cried and I cried, I was so sad that I had to give this perfect family an ultimatum. Then I thought about a lot of people I care about, the goodbye’s – then I cried even more, then I thought about the poor family – then I cried again. In the end I shut down my computer and tucked myself in. And then I started crying all over again.

If anyone has a single doubt – Yes I can get VERY emotional, I was close to getting hysterical. But I managed to stop crying a few minutes before the sleep took over.

Then I had the warmest and caring email. That she had been without an au pair for a while and that she was able to manage until October. Then we Skyped. And when I shut down the computer I just knew!

I can’t describe how it feels, but I was so sure that this family was “THE” family. The family I wanted to stay with and live and work for. No doubts and the next emails just confirmed it. The agency has now been advised and I just need to know what the next step is.

October seems very far away but yet so close. One week left of work, three weeks’ vacation, 4 weeks work left before I stop. And I have about 28 hours that I need to take of before I quit, so it’s actually only 3 weeks left when you start taking 28 hours out of 4 weeks.Then 10 days until Departure. I’m so happy and relieved and is so exited to live with this family. They are so nice and I just can’t wait.

66 days to New York workshop

So exited I want to scream!

First Family Contact

I’ve been contacted by a family. I don’t want to tell names or too much information about members of the family, since I don’t have permission or agreed and signed contract. What I can tell is that the family lives in California, and that I have Skyped with them. And I’m really positive. They seem very nice and calm. Children were very sweet and acted just like siblings do.

A good advice, check out the time differences when you need to call/Skype with families. I have made my own converter in a word document. It shows me all hours around the clock and then what time it is in California. I live in Denmark and in “summertime” I’m 9 hours in front of California. So when it’s 9 am in Denmark, it’s midnight in California. So in the middle of the day where I live, the family is asleep. We Skyped when it was around 7.30 am in California and 4.30 pm in Denmark. It is actually the “best” time to do it. No one has to get up in the middle of the night, and both of us are on the same date, because we both have crossed midnight.

In weekends, I would be able to stay up later or even after midnight. Since I wouldn’t need to go to work.  But on workdays, I need my sleep. So I can have all the energy to do my job.  It’s just a good idea to find a time, where it fits both parts. – That’s why I use a converter in a word document. I can always see what time it is, at the possible destination.

I look forward to Skype again, both side have questions for each other. And then I’m just excited to get to know a whole new family :)

Today my dad and I went to the zoo, it was real good weather, wasn’t too much heat or too many clouds. Just perfect. Afterward we bought a sandwich on our way home, and headed for the beach. We sat down and ate while we were looking cross the water. Then we went home.

Is pretty exhausted today, had a morning opener at work yesterday morning - 6.30 am,  Then home, relaxing, Skyping and then I meet with some colleagues, one of them is starting on a new job Monday, so we had a nice and calm evening with a few drinks – not much. But it was a nice evening. Got home at few minutes past midnight. But it was a looong day.

So after wandering around in the zoo and at the beach – I could really use a nap.  Just 20-30 minutes so I can keep myself awake tonight.

But a few nice days :) Good start in the weekend.

So many thoughts

So many thoughts in my head! So much have happened the last couples of days.

Everyone has already heard about the tragedy in Norway. All my thoughts go to the victims, their family, friends and just the Norwegian population. A Special thought goes to Michelle, a Norwegian/Danish girl I meet and spend three weeks with in our language school in Brighton 2007. I hope and pray that you’re alright! Also to an old school friend of mine, Her mother is Norwegian, I hope she’s going to make it through, Home must be real far away when something like this is happening.

So many young people have lost their life’s. And I can’t find one good reason! I don’t understand why the defendant needed to do this. They were so young, so innocent, having fun, having their own political meaning. Why is that so wrong?!

I don’t see the meaning of this life, when something like this happens. Because it shouldn’t happen! Why is it that we can’t live side by side in peace? I don’t care about color, social status, religion or lifestyle.  I respect differences and respect democracy!

I do fear the day it will happen in Denmark. And some people say: but I won’t! But I believe it will, so many times we have seen it getting so close. The police and PET have been able to stop it, before it actually happens. But someday they won’t be fast enough, even though they are really, really good at their jobs, some day they will miss something. And it will happen. I don’t know when or where, I know which areas in Copenhagen are very busy, filled up with people every day. So does the police. Unfortunately I can’t prevent it. Though I really want to. I have to trust the police and their work. I don’t know when it’s going to happen, and I’m kind of glad I don’t. I can fear it, but it will never make me live differently. Yes I fear it, but I will never let the people who do this win.

I also fear a lot, if something is going to happen, when I’m in the states. What if something happens to my family or friends, back home in Denmark. I won’t be there, to support and help. I will sit helplessly, on the other side of the planet. Getting the updates to late because of time differences.

I’m afraid of school shootings. School shooting have been a subject in my English classes three years in a row. I have seen “bowling from Columbine” at least 4 times. I have read about Virginia tech many times to. It’s so unfair! You can not excuse these people from doing it. I’m going to study in America, and I am still going to America as an au pair. When I’m there, I probably don’t think about it. But in times like this I do.

Everything comes with a risk. The airplane can crash, you can be hit by a car, and you can fall down the stairs and die. If we had to live risk-free then we shouldn’t live. We couldn’t, we just have to go on with our lives. Here in Denmark, Norway, America, Japan, Australia, Afghanistan, Russia, all over the world. We cannot live without risk. We have to do our best every day, and take one step at a time. Things like the tragedy in Norway shocks us, but we have to live!

And then a happy thing: A big goodbye to Rikke, another blogger www.rikkesimone.com . Who is leaving today to become an au pair in New Zealand. Can’t wait to hear about your journey!

Ballerina and Thinking

Well it’s Monday – my day off. And I’m so bored today... Have cleaned up my room, did it the other day to, so there wasn’t really much to clean. So I sat down, turned on my IPod, and made a handmade ballerina in cardboard. You can see the result below…

My swing broke yesterday. For those who’s thinking “Swing? Aren’t you 20?” Yes I’m 20, and my swing in the backyard is my thinking place. I go out there, listening to music, think and dream. Where other people might relax with a book or the TV. I relax most when I’m sitting on my swing, just listening to music. It’s the place where the decision is made and taken to consideration. And in the moment I have 1000 of thoughts everyday to figure out.

Is it a bit childish, maybe – maybe not. I can live without it, but it’s a nice place to have when thoughts are going wild or I need a break from everything.

In the moment I’m thinking about the Au Pair thing. I’m I really ready to leave for whole year? Because, I’m signing up for a whole year. There are so many things to consider. I’m leaving my life behind for a year. My job, friends, family, home, stability, security, everything! And then I’m off to a whole new country. A country you hear and see so much about. All the great movies and TV-shows. The good old American Dreams. But in the same time I know, that it’s not the American dream I’m going to enter. It’s hard work, new culture, you have to start from the bottom and you only have one year, before you leave again. Why?

Because I need it. For twenty years now, I have lived in the same country, in the same town, on the same street and in the same house.  It have gotten so “ordinary” There are no big surprises. The life just goes on and on in the same routine and I need some fresh air. I need to see how it also can be done. See the world trough new eyes. I need to challenge myself. I will be forced to speak with strangers, I will have to adapt to another culture and lifestyle.  I’m going to be the “new girl” who doesn’t know how things are done – in the American way. It all sound so scary to me. But I need a boost.

It’s just the hard goodbyes, the tears, all the hugs and kisses. Knowing that people will miss me. Knowing that they will get hurt (in a hopefully good way) Not being able to run back to my momma’s skirts and hide. Not being able to discuss the most banal stuff with my brother. Because we will probably spend the time on Skype on good and funny stuff instead.  I’m going to be vulnerable without me shields.

But hey, I’m going to have the time of my life. New friends, a new family, so many memories, lifetime learning. And hopefully (knock under the table) everyone will be there when I come back. It’s just for a while. And 1 year is going faster than you think!

interview done, waiting time begins

Interview went well, got a lot of information – but its okay. We went through what’s going to happen now. Cause it can be quit tricky to know. We looked at some of the papers, everything was fine.

But (for them) it’s a shame that I can’t go ASAP. But I have a contract, and with that follows a “term of notice.” I have to give my employer the rest of the month plus an extra month notice, before I can quit and stop my job.  So if I lay down my resignation today, I would have to stay rest of July plus all of August. And then I would be “free” But even if I did so, I wouldn’t give me guaranty that I would have a family in the beginning of September. So Hopefully I will leave October-November. There are only 1 departure in those months and no departure in December. But with my references and experience, I don’t think it’s going to be a problem. (At least I hope so, so does MyEducation)

      To apply, to become an au pair might seem as an easy thing. But it’s actually not just a form you have to fill out. It’s a lot of paperwork! A lot of waiting time! Everything have to be done correct, no mistakes, perfection and a lot of time & energy!

     Then interview at the agency (In my Case MyEducation)(not difficult at all) then papers sent to America (EurAupair), then they will have to check all my papers. If everything is all right. Then they will upload me in their system.

     Then the family will see my profile/application in a database.

     Then they will contact me, email/phone calls/Skype.

     Then you need to get to know each other. Find out if your personality and/or lifestyle match.

     If not, then you will have to wait for the next family to contact you. Maybe you will get to know several families in the same period of time.

     When you FINALLY find a family you want to match with, and they want to match with you. There are (drum roll) MORE PAPERWORK. It’s actually kind of a contract/agreement you will have about the placement.

     Then you need to apply for a visa.

     Get an interview at the embassy.

     Get accepted, get your visa.

     And then you actually “just” need to pack down your stuff, leave your old life for a year, say goodbye to everyone important.

     And last but not least your FLIGHTTICKET. I’m so glad that MyEducation will take care of that one!

Please don’t get frightened by this. I truly believe that it’s worth everything. On the paper it’s a lot of stuff, but much of it belongs with each other. And to be honest, I just want it to be October/November NOW. I know the next 1½ month probably is going to be wild. One is that I got my job in the nursery, but another is that this circus will be started. Families will call (cross your fingers!) Decisions will be taken. And I look forward to my adventure can begin.